The Official Crest of Prince Reza Pahlavi in Exile

Reza Pahlavi's Eggplant Show!
The Greatest Show on Earth, running now in its 3rd decade!
Ahreeman X
May 15, 2007

Why Eggplant?
Because:
* Reza Pahlavi as a chef, has much experience with the eggplants.
* Reza Pahlavi has a perfectly eggplant shaped nose.
* Reza Pahlavi behaves and looks like an eggplant.
* Reza Pahlavi has been vegetating for 28 + years.
* Reza Pahlavi is a vegetable and an eggplant!

Flashback, Flashback ...... Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the greatest show on earth! The Reza Pahlavi's Eggplant Show! This show has been going on for 28 + years! The Showman (Reza Eggplant) and his Hand Kissers (Monarchists) have been entertaining the Iranian people for decades! Now let's go back to the 80s when masses of Iran were suffering under the Mullahs, and we were asking Reza Pahlavi for his support of the second coup (after Nozhe), but he was too busy dancing Hustle to the beat of the Boogie Nights and Donna Summer all night long for 2 decades in NY, DC, LA, SD and London Night Clubs:

Tutu, heeeeeey cheechee
Tutu, heeeeeey cheechee

Bad boys, talking about sad boys
Bad boys, talking about bad bad boys

Tutu, heeeeeey cheechee
Tutu, heeeeeey cheechee

Who that disco dancing boy on the scene?
Re…Zi, Rezi
Who that Persian Donkey on the dance floor?
Re…Zi, Rezi

Excuse me Ahreeman, don't insult the Persian Donkeys. RP is an eggplant and a vegetable, not a donkey. Watch it Hell boy, I'm warning you!

Sorry Brother Olaq! Where was I? Hmmm ... Oh ye, Disco Rezi was really shaking his booty! Now back to the present we come … after 28 years of vegetating, Disco Rezi wants to become Shah! Well Hale Luya! And this is where our story begins ... Carrot baby, take it over, Here we go, here we go, fast energy beat ...

Hello friends ... some people assume that by getting their picture taken by RP, they will become opposition activists! Little do they know that by doing so, they will distant themselves from the Iranian Opposition; furthermore, they also become eggplants!

Before Taking Picture with RP
L - R: Nazanin Afshin Jam, Reza Pahlavi II, Amir Abbas Fakhravar

After Taking Picture with RP
L - R: Nazanin Afshin Jam, Reza Pahlavi II, Amir Abbas Fakhravar

Pahlavi Siblings at their Maryland Farm showing their true colors!
A rare and exclusive photo opportunity of Pahlavis relaxing and letting themselves loose.
L - R: Farahnaz Pahlavi, Reza Pahlavi, Alireza Pahlavi

Pahlavi Family at their Maryland Farm
Their Royal Hineys in the baskets!

L - R: And here are the Opie Pahlavi and the Dopey Pahlavi

Jujeh Monarchists: Javid Shah, Javid Shaf, Javid Chai, Shashid Shah, Lala Lay, Da La Lay, Lala Lee, Lala Loo…

Reza Pahlavi is a great kitchen chef (Media).
A dialogue between Reza and his "Eggplant kitchen chef" alter ego:
Kitchen Chef Reza Plant: What's your recipe for Lubia Beans?
Reza Damaq: Eva Bala begu to?
Kitchen Chef Reza Plant: To?
Reza Damaq: Jigar-e To, Fadaye To! To che nazi!
Kitchen Chef Reza Plant: OK OK, but what's the recipe?
Reza Damaq: The recipe is "The Finger", do you see this finger?
Kitchen Chef Reza Plant: Yes, but why the finger?
Reza Damaq: I pick my beans with this finger and this is the same finger I pick my butt with! All the herbs and spices, it's all in the finger! Who said I have no art?

Reza Pahlavi: I am lacking something this big! They say I don't have any Schlong or Balls. Even Yasmin has been complaining lately! I must prove to them that I got Balls but I am lacking something this big! I need something this big?
Eggplant: Well, you can always use me!

Scholar Reza Plant: It's not fair, you copied my body and pasted it as your nose!
Reza Pahlavi: Prove it? You don't have the patent on eggplant!
Scholar Reza Plant: By the way, your lips are getting thick and juicy, they are arousing (Tahrik Konandeh hast), do you use silicon injections?
Reza Pahlavi: No, I use those new wet lipsticks by L'Oreal!

Reza Pahlavi's first book - The Past and The Future: my future plans as an eggplant in exile!

Reza Pahlavi's second book - Winds from Eggplant: a guidebook on how to battle eggplant gas?

L. Reza Pahlavi: I am in need of Balls this big!
R. Reza Pahlavi's up coming book: My Life, essentially eggplant!

Reza Pahlavi does not mingle with non-Persians and he does not integrate (Media)!
Who said he doesn't integrate? That's a lie! He always integrates with his own kind (vegetables)!

Does narcissism ring a bell? They have their own pictures, painted for them and hanging on the wall behind them! These folks are truly in love with themselves!
L - R: Noor, Yasmin, Farah Jr., Reza and Iman Pahlavi

Another narcissistic family portrait posed in front of the family portrait painting! Pahlavis are great legends in their own minds! Those amazing Pahlavis!
L - R: Farah, Noor, Yasmin, Farah Jr., Reza and Iman Pahlavi

Dos Eggplantanos Pahlavicus
Kun-Goshadicus and Lazy-Assus before Transformasion (Botany 101)!
(Reza Pahlvai and Alireza Pahlavi)

Dos Eggplantanos Pahlavicus
Kun-Goshadicus and Lazy-Assus after Transformasion (Botany 101)!
(Reza Pahlvai and Alireza Pahlavi)

Farah Pahlavi (on phone): Tokhm-e Sag, you are late for Nowruz lunch! Where are you?
Reza Pahlavi: Maman Joon, I am sorry, I had a business meeting, I'm running late!
Reza Badenjan (alter ego): Don't lie Reza. You're late because you tried to get into Nazanin Afshin Jam's shorts!
Reza Pahlavi: Who the hell are you?
Reza Badenjan (alter ego): I'm the conscience you never had, but in shape of a flying eggplant following you from the air next to the limousine.
Reza Pahlavi: Driver…close the window, there is an eggplant trying to assassinate me!
Reza Badenjan (alter ego): No such luck. Bademjun-e Bam afat nadareh!
Reza Pahlavi: Shut up, Maman is still on the phone …
Farah Pahlavi (on phone): Valad-e Zena, who are you telling to shut up?
Reza Pahlavi: Nothing Mom, I'm talking to myself, Sorry!
Farah Pahlavi (on phone): Hurry Up Bozmajeh!
Reza Pahlavi: Mom I had a meeting, you know I'm trying to become a Shah!
Farah Pahlavi (on phone): Baba give it up, it has been 28 years! I have been waiting for so long to go back to Iran that the grass grew under my feet and the grass is now taller than me!
Reza Pahlavi: I'll be right there Maman Joon.
Farah Pahlavi (on phone): Hurry up damit, the Sabzi Polo and fish are getting cold!
Reza Pahlavi: OK Maman Jun, I'll be right there, Boos Boos Maman …

L. The Official Crest of the Crown Prince of Pahlavi in Exile
R. The Official Pahlavi Coat of Arms in Exile

Reza on Pan!