Jokes from Maloun

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Jokes from Maloun

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:52 am

A man was sitting on a park bench reading a newspaper. After a while he threw the paper to the ground and exclaimed, "All politicians are assholes!"

A well-dressed man sitting next to him said, "I take offense at that."

"Why? Are you a politician?"

"No. I'm an asshole."
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:53 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joke # 2

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:50 pm

The only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other liars.
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:54 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joke # 3

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Sat Sep 06, 2008 1:52 pm

A man twisted his knee badly while playing golf. He went to a hospital emergency room where he was examined by a doctor.

Doctor: "You must stop masturbating."
Golfer : "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am trying to examine your knee."
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:54 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joke # 4

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:23 pm

A sixth-grade science teacher asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

No one in the class answered until a little girl stood up and said, "You shouldn't be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go tell the principal, who will fire you!"

The teacher ignored her and asked the class again, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

This time a boy stood up, looked around nervously and said, "The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

"Very good," the teacher said. Then She turned to the little girl and added, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework. And three, one day you're going to be very, very disappointed."
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joke # 5

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:24 pm

A small boy woke up three nights in a row when he heard a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he went to his mother and said, "Mommy, every night I hear you and Daddy making noise, and when I look in, you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mother replied, "Oh well, I'm bouncing on Daddy's stomach because he's fat, and that helps him get thin again."

"That won't work," said the boy.

"Why not?" asked his mother.

The boy replied, "Because the lady next door comes over after you leave each day and blows him up again!"
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joke # 6

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:06 pm

"I've reviewed your case very carefully and have decided to give your ex-wife $300 a week," a judge declared.

"That's more than fair," the man said." I'll even try to kick in a little of my own money."
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:57 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joke # 7

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:27 pm

Ahreeman X was a horny Iranian Exile bastard.

Like many Iranian Exiles, AX had a big ego and a small shadool.
AX called his little shadool Haji Kuchikeh.

Even though Haji Kuchikeh was very small, yet AX was over 6 feet tall, muscular and handsome and girls liked him. AX chased tail all over San Diego and fucked many, many Cali girls.

Eventually the inevitable happened and one of AX's female conquests became pregnant. Her name was Haley. She had blond hair and green eyes and a slim, sexy body. Haley was a good Catholic girl and would not dream of having an abortion. She wanted AX to marry her.

AX, being an arrogant, selfish Iranian Exile bastard at first recoiled from the idea of marrying Haley. But even though he was an Iranian Exile, AX had some honor and integrity. He had been living among Americans since 1979 and some American qualities had rubbed off on him by osmosis.

So AX and Haley were married.

Six months later Haley gave birth to a little girl. They called her Jasmine. Jasmine was a very beautiful child, with her father's eyes. One day when she was five years old, Jasmine went to her mother and asked, "Mommy, where do people come from?"

Haley replied, "God made the universe and the earth, then all the plants and animals, then finally God made Adam and Eve, the first people. Adam and Eve had children, then their children had children, and so on, and so that's where people come from."

Jasmine thanked her mommy and went to play with her dolls. A few days later, Jasmine went to AX and asked, "Daddy, where do people come from?"

AX replied, "Well, sweetheart, life on earth evolved over millions and millions of years from simple forms to more and more complex and sophisticated forms. Eventually some ape-like creatures evolved and mankind, chimps, gorillas and orangutans descended from them. So that's where people come from."

Jasmine thanked her daddy and looked very thoughtful. She went to her room to think. Some time later she went to Haley and said, "Mommy, you say people come from Adam and Eve and yet Daddy says people come from monkeys. I am confused."

"It's really very simple, dear," Haley replied, "I told you where my side of the family comes from and your father told you where his side of the family comes from."
Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ahreeman X » Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:10 pm

Bantu Maloun :africanzulu: :

How amazing that you brought up this subject! Actually my main squeeze always tells everyone that as a creationist, she (the better half) comes from Angels in the heaven but as an evolutionist, Ahreeman (the worst half) comes from Baboons in the jungles!

Cheers You African American Bastard!

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Joke from Maloun #8

Postby Lawrence Of Persia » Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:48 pm

:watcher: عزیز اهریمن

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns both a goat and a camel?

A. Bisexual.

Regards,
Bantu Maloun

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Death to the Rahbar! :skull:

:skull: مرگ بر رهبر!

مرگ بر رهبر! :skull:

مرگ بر رهبر! :skull:

مرگ بر رهبر! :skull:

Down with the Islamic republic of Iran!
Long live the Federal Republic of Free Persia!
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Last edited by Lawrence Of Persia on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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