A Thanksgiving Prayer for IPC!

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A Thanksgiving Prayer for IPC!

Postby Ahreeman X » Wed Nov 24, 2004 5:58 pm

A Thanksgiving Prayer Exclusively for IPC Members!

Dear Satan:

Our Evil Father down in Hell, we love thee & send thee kisses & loves!

We here by shall write this Thanksgiving Satanic Prayer.

Before we start the sermon, lets say a prayer, just a little pick-a-loo! Shall we?

Ya Allah, Qura'n-e Karim (Pronounce very Qaliz) teaches us:

"Bang O men Allah-a va fat-hon Qarib!"

Means:

Bang them by the will of Allah & Conquer them in the most peculiar Ways!
from,
(Quran, Ayat ol Tonban, Sourat al Haziyan, fel Tokhm al babam!)

La Elaha ela Allah!

Here we go,

Ya Umma' al IPC,

Primarily,
on this Thanksgiving Day, we would like to take this opportunity to Thank all the Ladies for Giving all year long, generously, passionately, devotedly, steadily, or randomly to us; therefore, thanks for giving, ladies! In the up coming year, we also strongly recommend for these ladies to keep on giving more & more, so together, we can explore new erotic horizons! Ladies, on this thanksgiving day, I sincerely thank thee for giving! Heres your prayer!

Secondary,
we would like to thank all the brain dead Cattle of Allahic Kind for keep on keeping on Fragging the Middle East & maintain it as the Shiite Hole of the globe in such living conditions, not proper for the civilized people to live! We want to thank the Umma' of Allah for practically Fraging the Tourist Business, Economy & social patterns of the largest nations of the region such as Turkey, Egypt and Morocco. The Good Muslim Folk are their own worst enemy & it thrills us in a way that Islamic Fundamentalism does its best to destroy their own lands! Who knows, maybe out of the ashes of this catastrophe, a neo non Islamic secular movement will arise in the whole region; therefore, we strongly recommend for Umma' of Allah to keep on keeping on with their Holy Jihad against their own salvation, prosperity, society & economies. long live suicide bombings, Long Live Cattle of Allah, viva ignorance! Heres your prayer!

Trio,
we would like to thank all educated Olaq Donkeys of the Iranian "In-Tell-Egg-Chew-Alls" from Doctors all the way to Engineers (Mohandes) & from Businessmen all the way to Scientists for they great devotions & efforts to Frag our progressive nation on 1979, Frag the future of their own children, Frag Iranian Society & economy & to bring on a Mid Evil Dark Age-ic Theocratic Dictatorship of Mullahs to power in Iran. Allah himself could not do better than this!

Khariyyat na tanha alaf khordan ast!

Translacione:

"To be a Donkey, is not only to eat Hey, yet it is also to remain as an Iranian In-tell-egg-chew-all!"

Our beloved Great Modern Engineers of the 1979 Reaction, these "In-tell-egg-chew-alls" of Meli Mazhabi, Leftist, Liberals & Socialists, combinely had put one foot on Eastern Borders of Khorasan, one foot on Western Borders of Kurdistan, squated on top of Iran with their rectums zoomed on Qom & then practically shiited all over Iran, yet their shiite was a tough shiite & over floated from Qom & covered the whole nation! Today our beloved progressive nation had turned to a Militant Muslim Arabic Shiite Hole! More power to these great engineers of the 1979 Reaction whom without them, the Baboon Mullahs could have never succeed with their Islamic Reaction! On top of the list of these Buffoons, we can observe:

Whores of The Opposition
Definition - Certain Groups who are in fact flirting with IRI & Mullahs, yet pose as opposition groups! They go with the wind. They blow in any direction in which the wind blows! They enjoy sharing power or play the sidekick lap-dog to any regime which is residing the throne & rules Iran! Any which way the wind blows, is their motto! "Whores of The Opposition" are consisting, yet not limited to the groups below:

a)
Bache Kunis of Jebhe Meli Iran who actively peddled their Asses for Akhunds, got schlonged up the Glory Hole by Imams & presently they are either in Hotel Jails of IRI, smoking Opium in Tehran or teaching universities to poison youth's minds in the west & fingering each other in the butt, while padding each other's shoulders (or Asses) in their Uncle Tom's Cabin Forum of Jebhe.dork for the great diarrhea of the 1979.

b)
Bache Revisionist Communists of Tudeh Communist Party who used to reside in Eastern blocks, moved to Iran on 1978 to Frag the nation, sucked Mullahs Schlongs, opened wide for Imam's Kharzeh, in the 80s got rewarded by Imam for their services, jailed, exiled & presently reside in London, sucking Queen's shriveled up poon tang, cuss Shah & write Bull Shiite Leftist rhetorics & insisting on sending me the shiite, even in my private E-mail account! They send copies of their garbage, not only to IPC Office, IPC Web Mistress, and my IPC Founder's account, but they insist on making sure that I will personally read their Shiite OverFloat of Brownies in-tell-egg-chew-all-ism myself, so they loves to send me their "Crap Ala Cart-e", also via my private E-mail account! I sincerely cannot decide who deserves more to be "hanged upside down by the balls" from the thick trees of Kakh Avenue, Tehran, in the future of Iran! Jebheis or Tudehis?!

c)
Bache Akhunds of Nehzat-e Azadi, Meli Mazhabi, sons of Haj Mehdi Bazargan, Haj Yadollah Sahabi, Haj Rahim Atayi, Haj Abbas Radnia, Haj Ebrahim Yazdi de Ex CIA payrollee & other buffoons of the Nationalo_Islamo Roots! Nothing gives me more pleasure to gather a number of youngens potty training children, sit these great baldheaded scholars or their sons & followers on the ground & hold them children above their holy liberal heads & let them shiite & peeitte all over their kachal heads! More laxative Ex Lax Chocolate for them kids, more residue over the heads of kachals! More power to Ex Lax! Long live Sulfat Do Sud!

d)
Bache Juje Communists of Fedayeen Aksariyat Faggots, oh boy oh boy!

My servant had a servant, Nokar-e man Nokar-i dasht! Hezbe Tudeh is Tofeyli itself, & House Niggers of Mullahs! Now imagine Hezbeh Tudeh also has a House Nigger Servant in servitude, called Fedayeen Aksariyat! These dudes are The Neo Revisionisto_Socialisto_Dick Licko_Intellectualo Face of the Iranian Left! First they sold their principals to Social Imperialism of CCCP in Moscow & next they turned Muslim & Born Again Shiite in Tehran & saw the light of Imam & Islam! Aksariyati is a more active Ass Peddler than a Tudehi! To think that once upon a time these Sissy Ass Queers were descendants of Great Guerilla Commandos such as The Lioness, Ashraf Dehqani! These Lilly Ass Opportunist Faggots disgraced the name of Feme Fatals like Ashraf Dehqani. New Face of The Iranian Opportunist Marxists in Denial. Whose worst, Kachals of Jebhe Meli or Faggots of Aksariyat?

So, no shortage of Criminals! Our beloved country had produced plenty! While these Faggots were residing @ Campuses of Tehran University for free, rent, food & tuition paid by the Imperial Regime, compliments of the Imperial government, yet they were sabotaging the system from within! They were like dogs who got fed by the Imperial Regime, yet bitten the hands who fed them!

Ideal Future Orgy!

Kachal, Hypocrite, Liberal, Opportunist, Leftists of The Iranian In-tell-egg-chew-alls! Gather all of them, bring on the Thick Boned Pure Breed Persian Donkeys (Thickest Bones East of The Tigris), pull down their pants, lay them in the streets of Tehran & let the Donkeys do the nasty to their Corn Holes! If this will be the last thing that I will ever do, then be it! Once we return to Iran, remind me to conduct a Mass Beastiality Orgy with participation of Jebhei, Tudehi, Nehzati, Aksariyati Fags & Persian Donkeys! Asses will be torn, blood all over the streets, we be banging intellectuals of the left & Muslim Intellectuals for 48 hours straight! We be banging them butts with our beloved Persian Donkey Schlongs (25 inches minimum) until either Shariati or Mosadeq screams froms heavens: "Please Have Merci!"

Asses will be torn! Boy I am telling you, Allah forbid, if me & the comrades go back to Iran, all Jebheis will bleed from Hemorrhoid Burst & Torn Rectum! We will bang these intellectuals to Death! You Ha Ha Ha HAhahahahahaha (Evil Scientist Laugh)!

May Allah bang them all! Heres your prayer!

Quatro,
we would like to thank Imam Khomeini! We have to give him credit, no? Who else could have Shiite all over Iran in a manner that kicked back Iran like a soccer ball, 50 years back to Qajar's Era?! Damn boy! Only Imam! And heres your prayer!

Cinco,
I want to thank the youth who are our only hope. I strongly recommend to the youth to crucify your fathers & give them hell! Your fathers have sinned, Sins of 1979 indeed. Your fathers were either An-Qolabi-youn who engineered & crafted or helped succeed the Reaction of 1979 & Fraged your future & Prosperity with it, or they were unworthy incompetent Pro Imperial Regime Puppets who stood by & let the Reaction of 1979 to happen! Hell, they could have fought to death & not to let the Mullahs & their Leftist Fags to take over! It does not matter who were your fathers, An-Qolabi or Saltanat Talab, they both sinned! So Give them hell, question them, give them the 9 degree hell, interrogate them, condemn them, cuss them out, crucify them thus they have sinned, Sins of The Fathers......... and if they ask you, why do you treat us so harsh, then tell them Dr. X told me so! Hee Hee Hee..........

If they tell you, but we were helpless, we were pro Shah, we wanted to save Iran but we had to leave, Hoiser did not let us fight, Carter avoided us to, we we we .................

Tell them, the only people who tried to save Iran, were the Dead Immortal Guards (Gard-e Javidan) & some Military Personnel whom are now 6 feet Under! They were the only ones who tried to save Iran! The rest of you in Exile & Inxile (Internal Exile in Iran!) with your Websites, Organizations, Bull Shiite Parties, Old Fossil Generals Cab Drivers, Pal Talk Garbage Tribunes of Dr. Chos-Koohi or Dr. Kos Kash or Dr. Yataqan & other Monarchist Dayus are all Tofeyli!

The real Nationalists are dead & 6 feet under. You are residue in Exile.........and if they start giving you excuses & bla bla bla & call themselves Compatriots & Freedom Fighters & ......... Tell them Frag you & tell them Dr. X told us so!

More power to the youth
Frag the Old thus they Fragged our Nation!

Wallah! Heres your prayer kids!

Sheshomandesh,
so ladidi da & all that Frag & Fandango & Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! As long as I am a Vegetarian, today I will not eat Turkey or Ham............but I will eat Kabob Kubideh charbroiled on the BBQ!

Kabob Kubideh, Sangak Bread crisped in the oven with juices of Kabob on it (Nun Kabobi), Char broiled Tomatoes & Fresh Herbs, Basil (Reyhan). Thats what I am talking about! I think I eat 4 skewers of Kabob. Boy, I must be the poster boy for Vegetarians! Picture me biting off a chunk of Kabob from the skewer, like a cannibal while speaking to the camera:

"Yes, I am a Vegetarian,...........don't mind me now, but I usually am!"

ain't we Iranians all Hypocrites?! (Googly Eyes!)

And that was definitely your last prayer!

So, tell me kiddies,

Who Really Loves yous babies?

Ahreeman Indeed!

Who loves yous for the loves sake?

You are correct again, Ahreeman does!

Who the Evil with unconditional Loves for you Kiddies?

Damn you are smart, right again, Ahreeman indeed!

And we shall bless thee all, so thou shalt not become hypocrites, Sons O Bitches like Thine Fathers!

Ok Kidney Beans, hows about a ditty? Here you go kids, learn it & sing (Rap) it to your elders:

Hipity Hop..............

I was here, now I'm gone,
I left this note to turn you on,
For those who know me, they know me well,
For those who don't, they can go to Hell!

Hee Hee Hee, Evil indeed! (Beady Eyes)

Now come & sit on Uncle Ahreeman's lap & .............. Hey wait a second, thats for Christmas! Ok then, come & give Uncle Ahreeman a smoochi on the cheek cause Uncle Ahreeman gots to go eats some Kabob & drink some Duq. Have a nice Turkey Day & all that ladidi das.............. Soon, there will be Christmas & "Sandi Claws Ahreeman", and other Comrades Oops I mean Reindeers will bring you some new Christmas presents (Animation/Graphics/Humor/Articles/etc.), Ho Ho Ho...................Awight (all right in Ebonics Black lingo),

How did yous like your exclusive prayers & sermon?! (Evil Eyes)

Hee hee hee...............

Happy ThanksGiving and of course...........

Ahreeman Bless

Sign,

Ahreeman Mirza-ye Qajar

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Happy Thanksgiving

Postby CR » Wed Nov 23, 2005 8:42 pm

Happy Thanksgiving

This post will fit well over here. Happy thanksgiving to Iranian-Americans and Americans. I think in Canada and United Kingdom, you also celebrate Thanksgiving but on a different day! Am I right? When is Thanksgiving in Canada and UK? I don't know about the rest of you in Europe. Do you know what thanksgiving is? Anyway, to those of you who celebrate thanksgiving, Happy Turkey Day. Eat lots of Turkey, Ham, Stuffing, Mashed Potato, Cranberry Sauce, Veggies, etc. To Europeans, if you don't know what Thanksgiving is, you can still eat Ghormeh Sabzi on Thanksgiving Day! But I'm sure, in Iran they celebrate Thanksgiving! In Iran, they celebrate all of the American holidays to piss the regime off! They also celebrate Valentines Day!

Happy Thanksgiving and Gobble Gobble

CR
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Postby Ahreeman X » Thu Nov 24, 2005 9:45 am

Golbaji Joon:

First, allow me thank our Father,
Thank you our father @ Under, The Lord of Darkness, for Thanksgiving!

Then,
For yours & All's records,

USA Exclusive Holidays
Valentine's Day, President's Day, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Easter Sunday, Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween (are amongst some of our exclusive Holidays)

Canada also celebrates
Easter Monday (rather than Sunday), Good Friday, Labor Day (same as American Labor Day in September), Thanksgiving (in October rather than November)

Ireland also celebrates
St. Patrick's Day

England also celebrates
Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Easter Monday

Mexico also celebrates
Cinco de Mayo (but their major independence day from Spain & not France, is on another day)

Iran also celebrates
All American Holidays to antagonize the Islamic Government (as you stated)! :)

We the Americans, have the most colorful holidays in the world. We are Damn Yankees! We export our Holidays around the world. Many people in many other countries also love our holidays, so they also celebrate American Holidays!

Hasta La Vista Baby

Adios Muchachas y Muchachos

Thank you All for Thanksgiving!
and
Thanks Ahreeman for Thanksgiving!

Ahreeman Bless
:firedvl:
AX
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Postby Liberator » Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:16 pm

Thanksgiving Memories of the Iranian Revolution

November 24, 2005
The Desert Sun
Dodie Cross


http://www.iranvajahan.net/cgi-bin/news ... 1&d=24&a=5



The acrid smell of burning rubber and smoking fire bombs mingled with odors from our sumptuous dinner table, but we were determined to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with our friends, regardless of the turmoil in our city streets.

It was November 1978, post-Shah, Iran. Three weeks earlier, in the capital city of Tehran, establishments that Americans visited for recreation were being fire-bombed by radicals; any place that served liquor and provided dancing were targeted as "… against the holy book." Living in Esfahan, only 300 miles from Tehran, we feared for our lives.

My husband's job had brought us to Iran two years earlier, and for the most part we had lived a quiet, comfortable life. We had many Iranian friends and neighbors who looked out for us if we needed anything. Men from my husband's job shared dinners and great stories of their culture with us. There was a mutual respect among us.

However, after the Shah was deposed, our Iranian friends no longer came for dinner. They warned us of dangers to Americans, and told us the students were planning demonstrations that could get ugly. They told us to "Keep a low profile."

Freedom for granted

As most Americans do, we took our freedom for granted. We assumed because we were U.S. citizens that everything would go smoothly for us. And it did - while the Shah was in his palace. Now he was gone, forcefully ejected from the country and the people he loved. Now, radical college students ran the streets of Tehran with the sole intent of killing the "evil imperialists" and purging them from their country.

On that day of Thanksgiving in 1978, each expatriate had made up a dish to represent his or her homeland: curried lamb from India, spicy beef from South America, a chili-chicken dish from Indonesia and beef Wellington from England. I cooked the standard turkey, dressing and yams from my beloved country.

It was sometimes difficult to separate the invading smells of smoke in the streets-from the aromas of the delectable dishes, however, the countries of origin came alive with each bite. We bowed our heads as each one asked a blessing from their own deity. We prayed for our safety as well as for the people being terrorized in Tehran.

As the day wore on, we all struggled to maintain a normal Thanksgiving gaiety but couldn't avoid a somber resolve. Conversations would start and then trail off as we listened to the whistle of fire bombs. These were being set off by groups of fanatic Iranian boys running the streets, emulating their heroes in Tehran. We tried to take solace in the fact that our governments would get us out safely.

As soon as the conversation took this turn, we mothers quickly herded the children from the dinner table into another room for video games. As parents, we couldn't bear for them to know that the people they looked up to as their protectors were looking somewhere else for protection. We tried to hold our fear inside, to keep it from the children, but children learn things by watching adults and we could only answer their fears with prayers and hugs.

The children were scheduled to return to school in one week, and we knew that would not happen now. Through the expat grapevine we learned that the government of Iran buses, scheduled to transport our children to the American expat schools, were now being fire-bombed by extremists. Blood-like paint was scrawled across the scorched busses: "Death to Amrikins" and "Yanke go home."
Smoke and fire

At the end of the day, we embraced our friends a little longer, a little harder, not knowing if we'd meet again. After the children were asleep, we turned on the television. We wanted to see if the rumors we'd heard were true. Had it escalated any further? Was there any hope of a compromise between the radicals and the U.S. government?

The streets of Tehran flowed into our living room, filled with hundreds of screaming radicals. Some held burning American flags; others held pictures of Jimmy Carter hanging from a noose and "Death to Amrikins" signs. I turned it off after five minutes of pure disbelief and pain. We headed for our bedroom, harboring our own fears and terrors as we closed our eyes on Thanksgiving night 1978.

Our orders to leave came the next week. To leave, we had to sneak out in the dead of night with just the clothes on our backs; we met up with a van that transported us to the airport and on to safety.

As our plane ascended and flew over Tehran, we could see hotels and restaurants that we'd visited not two months earlier, engulfed in fire, with flames shooting skyward, while blocks of the city were blanketed by heavy grey smoke.

Looking back

The following Thanksgiving, 1979, from our comfortable home in the United State, we watched in horror as the American Embassy in Tehran was overtaken, and American Marines and embassy officials were held hostage. We realized how lucky we'd been to leave Iran when we did, but we couldn't forget the Iranian people who had been so good to us while we lived there. Where were they now, and had they been punished for associating with the "evil imperialists"?
As each successive Thanksgiving has come and gone in the ensuing 27 years, my thoughts still trail back to that year where my status as an American was no longer an asset, but a terrifying liability. We know we're fortunate to be living in America, and we begin and end our day with prayers for the many soldiers who cannot be home on this Thanksgiving Day; who are across the world to ensure that we can sit down to our table while feeling safe. We pray that this time next year, they will be sitting down with their family and loved ones.

Reach Dodie Cross (Norwood), a Palm Desert resident and writer: dodiecross@dc.rr.com
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable" -J.F.K
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Thanksgiving Information 101

Postby Ahreeman X » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:12 pm

Thanksgiving Information 101
An Ahreemanic Course!

Folks:

Before I begin, allow me to inform you of a some facts. Last night, I was invited to a large Thanksgiving Party. Friends & Family, Juicy girls, hicks, nerds, artists, psychos, rocket scientists, engineers & doctors, all & all were there. Once I saw this massive party, I truly counted my blessings: Thank God, this year the party is not in my house, so all of these people will destroy someone else's house! Praise the Lord! The worst thing about Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years Parties are the aftermath & the cleanup! I truly feel sorry for the hosts who have to do the aftermath cleanup on 3 AM! Poor folks! It's like cleanup after World War III.

As a traditional Iranian-American Thanksgiving Dinner, there were two versions served:

a) American Version: Turkey, Stuffing, Biscuits, Bean Casserole, Cranberry Sauce, Mashed Potatoes, bla bla bla ..........

b) Persian Version: Khoresht Fesenjoon (a sweat sour Persian stew) served with Saffron Rice, sides of herbs (Sabzi, torobche, piyazche, .....), torshies: Liteh, Badenjan, Sir, Zeytun, ...... (Persian Pickles), Persian Breads, etc.

............. and then the desserts! Oh Lord O mighty! Banana Cream Pie, Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream, Persian Cookies, Tea ................

By this moment the trousers buttons will open & stomachs will surely burst!

Have in mind that eating only one version would make you so full, but eating both versions would guarantee to burst you up! also have in mind that eating Fesenjoon cannot be a daily habit! If you eat Fesenjoon everyday or even every week, you guarantee a Heart Attack or a massive cardiac arrest! Now back to the party we go.

There were also some Canadians there & I was informed that in Canada, they don't really celebrate Thanksgiving such as we do in America! They only give food/money/etc. to the poor. Thanksgiving in Canada is nothing like our American Thanksgiving. We also thank everyone & give to others, but a huge feast & party with its traditions are in order!

Picture the difference between American & Canadian Thanksgiving is like the difference between Iranian & Afghani Nowruz. Afghani Nowruz is nothing like the original Iranian one! Afghans don't have 7-Sin or 7-Sin table decorations (7 items start with "S"), Sabzi Polo Mahi (Herbal Rice & White Fish), the big time presents, the traditions, the colorful decorations, etc. Afghan version is very simple, because Nowruz is not their main event! Their main events are Eyd Qorban & Eyd Fetr! Their main events & celebrations are Arabo_Islamic Holidays! The real Nowruz is the Iranian Nowruz. It is celebrated differently in Tajikistan, Azerbaijan, Uzbekistan, Kurdistan (Iraq, Syria, Turkey) & Afghanistan!

So The Canadian version of Thanksgiving is a cheesy, empty shell of a soul-less day off! The American Thanksgiving is the main event, the homey feelings, the big bang & the true Turkey Day!

And there you go, for those who did not know, Ahreeman had just enlightened yous & turned you on to some Culture & Traditional info!

See ya this time @ next Thanksgiving!

Ahreeman Bless

AX
Last edited by Ahreeman X on Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Thanksgiving Humor

Postby Ahreeman X » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:15 pm

Ahreemanic Thanksgiving Humor

Now that we got the Encyclopaedia Thanksgiving out of the way, we shall start with the humor. Are yous ready? Then lets roll:

Picture this,

Imagine if back then, the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a Turkey,
then today, we'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!
(Killer, Riot!)
\:D/

Hows about an itsy bitsy poem?

A Poetic Thanksgiving!

I saw you across a crowded room.
Among all the others that were there,
the lights seemed to shine down on you alone.
I knew then I had to have you for my own.
Willingly, you came with me to my home.
From the car, I Carried you & threw the door.

Looking at you, I admire your body, your well-shaped legs, and breasts.
Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly,
fitting you like a glove.
Exposing your tender white skin.

From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms,
to the warm water that awaits.

The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then,
making your legs glisten with wetness.
Droplets of water cover your taut skin.

My hands rub your body, ummm running them threw the beads of water.
Making them trickle down off your body.

I place my fingers inside you.
You are warm and moist, so ready.
I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place,
so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you,
before we even came through the door.

As soon as I lay you down,
your legs spread open wide.
You are ready now and so am I.

I put a little in, slowly at first, getting a feel for,
how much you can take in.

I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation,
faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can,
until I can't put any more in,
you are so tight.
With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it!

I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet
juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue,
at first, your skin is so soft and tender.

I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist,
you taste so good.

Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation,
of eating you more, with every taste.

Ohhh "Oh yes", I say to you,

I must say Grace "Thank God for Butterball turkey"

Amen!
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Thanksgiving Sexual Lingo!

Postby Ahreeman X » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:19 pm

Thanksgiving Sexual Lingo!
Some Unintentional Sexual Lingo, going around Thanksgiving!
(Similarities between Sex & Thanksgiving!)
Top 10 similarities:

10. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."

9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"

8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"

7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"

5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"

4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."

3. "It's cool whip time!"

2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

. . . and the number one saying which sounds obscene at Thanksgiving is . .

1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

Cheers
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Why Thanksgiving is better than sex?

Postby Ahreeman X » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:22 pm

Why Thanksgiving is better than sex?
The Top 10 reasons:

10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.

And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving is better than sex, is:

1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER
dinner!

Now Behave!
Happy Thanksgiving Holidays .........
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Postby Ahreeman X » Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:40 pm

:devbrowed: Happy Thanksgiving Folks :devgrin:


Can you say: Bird, a Bird, Ah Bird? :food:


13 Good Reasons for Burning the Turkey

1. Salmonella won’t be a concern.

2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.

3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.

5. Pets won’t bother to pester you for scraps.

6. No one will overeat.

7. The smoke alarm was due for a test.

8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

9. You’ll get to the desserts even quicker.

10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned or halfway down!

12. You won’t have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

13. You can always have an excuse to also serve your Qormeh Sabzi!

14. Your stuffing will now taste great and people will become more aware that you are a Master Stuffer! People would even come from miles away to ask you either for your stuffing techniques or straight out to stuff their birds!


A Thanksgiving Joke

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead."


A Thanksgiving Advice

Folks,

Do not overload on Turkey and Mashed Potatoes, so you can leave room for Cranberry Sauce! Personally I prefer Cranberry Juice, the next best thing to blood!
:cran:

And don’t miss my Thanksgiving Special:

Those I would Like to Thank for this Thanksgiving …

A Thanksgiving Prayer for Iran!
http://www.iranpoliticsclub.net/club/vi ... php?t=1369

OK Folks, now I have to do the 4S’s:

Shave, Shiite, Shower and Shine (in that order), ………. and get ready to go to the Thanksgiving party to stuff myself! Well thank God, this year we are not the host and we don’t have to cleanup after the party! Instead, we can mess up someone else’s house for a change!
:haji:


Amen!
:firedvl:
AX
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