Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Postby IPC » Mon Aug 29, 2005 1:59 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Oldies but Goodies! Remember this one?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Ex Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

OPRAH
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
eChicken2005 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chequebook - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n !

In the future, we must continue and add on to this "Chicken Thread"!

Regards,

IPC Office
Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds (English)
Pendare Nik, Goftare Nik, Kerdare Nik (Modern Persian)
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta (Avestan Persian)
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Postby Messenger of Allah » Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:46 pm

DR PHIL
What Oprah said

HEISENBERG
We are able to measure the location of the chicken, or its speed, but never both simultaneously

NEWTON
A chicken in motion will stay in motion until it reaches the other side. A chicken at rest will never cross the road unless we apply a force to it

NEWTON (again)
To make this chicken cross the road, we must apply a force, which will cause an acceleration which will be inversely proportional to the mass of that chicken

NEWTON (yet again)
For every chicken crossing the road, there is an equal and opposite chicken crossing from the other side

MOHAMMAD
If this chicken will not accept islam before crossing….kill it

JESUS
Let he who has never crossed a road cast the first stone upon this chicken

MOSES
Let my feathered friend go free....Just wait chicken, while I part traffic for you

UNCLE SAM
This chicken better report any income gained by crossing the road…I’m watching you, chicken

OSAMA
Do you think it’s too late to strap a bomb on that chicken?

AHMADINEJAD
The chicken is on its way to wipe Israel off the map

KHOMEINI
Having sex with a chicken is perfectly legal in islam…enjoy

KHATAMI
Perhaps we can reform this chicken before it tries to cross

BASIJI
Let’s beat the shit out of that chicken for not covering up properly

OSSY OSBORNE
I bit off the head of that chicken five minutes ago…how is it still walking?

JOE PESCI
What’s that chicken now, a wise guy? What am I…here to amuse this chicken?...I swear to God, chicken, in about five seconds, I’m gonna come over there and shove this baseball bat right up your…

JFK
Ask not what this chicken can do for you, but what you can do for this chicken

NIETZSCHE
Where is the chicken?….I’ll tell you…the chicken is dead…we have killed him, you and I

CDC
Kill that chicken, it has the bird flu

KFC
Stop that chicken!

GANJI
Man…I could go for some chicken right now

SHAKESPEARE
This chicken by any other name would taste just as delicious

JULIUS CAESAR
Et tu?....chicken?

STALIN
Comrade chicken, I see you are on your way to Siberia for disobeying mother Russia

HITLER
This chicken is clearly part of an inferior race and must be exterminated

WRIGHT BROTHERS
With proper wing modification and forward thrust, we can make this chicken fly, thereby circumventing the need to cross the road

GHENGHIS KHAN
What is this chicken still doing here? I thought I told you guys to kill EVERYTHING

NOSRTADAMUS
I told you the chicken would cross the road…didn’t I tell you?

AUSTIN POWERS
Chickey baby, would you like to shag now (before crossing) or would you like to shag later (after crossing)?

DR BONES
This chicken is dead, Jim

DEARTH VADER
Chicken, I am your father. Take my hand and let's cross the road together....the force is strong with this chicken

YODA
Chicken...hmmm....crossing road....hmmm....no try....only do

LASSIE
Woof...woof...woof....Translation: forget the freakin chicken. Billy is stuck down a well again; let's go...follow me

AL ZARQAWI
I would have loved to decapitate that chicken, but that bastard Ossy beat me to it

SUN TZU
Never underestimate your opponent, even if he is a chicken

ASGHAR GHASAB
Een morghe bee marefat az dookoonam dar raft. Ajab bee namoosi! Age begiramesh coso koonesho yeki mikonam, madar-ghahvaro. Bache kooni, chai biyar feilan ta bebinam….nashnidi?...mageh kari gavmish?
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