Islamic Fine Arts!

Post your jokes, humor articles, Satire, funny short stories, comedy plays, satirical poems, comedy video & audio clips & other humor pieces here.

Moderator: Club Operations

Islamic Fine Arts!

Postby Ahreeman X » Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:32 am

Islamic Fine Arts! :ayatollah:
January 14, 2006

Good Morning Folks :hwave:

What a beautiful morning, 70 degrees & sunny in the middle of winter in beautiful San Diego! I was just thinking of Fine Islamic Arts throughout the history & found it only proper to share my thoughts with yous!
:tan:
Folks, lets speak of the Islamic Fine Arts.


Islamic Fine Arts :suicidebomber:


CutThroat :basij:

Let's review some Islamic history, shall we? @ the beginning of Islam, there was Beheading, yet lately AIOG (Arabo_Islamic Occupational Government) of Iran is much civilized to behead, so they settle with only cutthroat! So in a way cutthroat is the evolved style of beheading!

This art is an ancient Islamic art, going all the way back to Muhammad The Prophet @ beginning of Islam! That great prophet used to order the assassination of his opponents via this fine Islamic style o creative slaughter! They also used to Zebh al Islami the sheep, the same way! Even in modern times we witness Mohammed's protégés such as Islamic Republic of Iran's Maktabis to follow the legend via CutThroat of the opposition!

Amongst some of Islamists' great works of art, are cutthroats of Shapour Bakhtiar, Fereydoun Farokhzad, etc.


Drive-By :pasdar: :banghead2:

Let's review some Islamic history, shall we? @ Beginning of Islam there was Horse-By & the good Muslim were riding on the horse back, invading people's villages, towns & houses, then they would slaughter them with one blow of the curved sword! Later came the Walk-By! For instance in 20th century we have witnessed Walk-Bys of Fedaian Islam, Ayatollah Khalkhali's Crew on steps of the courthouse! They just walked by & shot people, for instance Dr. Ahmad Kasravi's assassination was amongst examples of this fine Islamic Art! The third step of this Islamic Evolution was the Drive-By Islamic Assassination. Who said Muslim can't evolve?! From Horse-By to Walk-By to Drive-By, if that's not Evolution, then I don't know what is?! Praise Allah!

Drive-by Shootings are the modern time style of art via Islamists! These days Islamists do Drive-Bys! We witness Car Drive-Bys & Motorcycle Drive-Bys, depending on the parameters of the street & geography of the area! Amongst some of these fine art works were the Drive-Bys on Captain Shahryar Shafiq & Dr. Kourosh Aryamanesh & etc. Islamists have learned to perfect this fine art! Hey what can I say, modern times require modern ways, and so Horse-Bys switched to Drive-Bys!

Eye-Gouging :samad:

Eye-Gouging is an ancient Islamic Fine Art! The history goes back to Sadr-e Islam during Muhammad, Omar & Ali! They used to gouge an eye for an eye, sometimes ten eyes for an eye or even twenty eyes for no eye! Sometimes they were simply in the eye-gouging mood, so they gouged eyes for the hell of it! Just for practice! Fine Islamic Practice indeed!

In modern times, we witness Quick Eye Pokes in fights, which results on the subject to become blind in one eye! Amongst the perfect examples are the Eye Poking & blinding of Rafi Khachatourian, the Iranian Comic & Opposition member!

CutThroat, Beheading, Horse-By, Walk-By, Drive-By, Eye-Gouging, Eye-Poking, stoning, modern suicide bombing & hundreds of other creative Islamic Arts are the very fine dedications of Islam to Global Arts!

Folks,

Actually I have been pondering, developing & practicing some Neo Fine Arts of my own! In a meanwhile I am perfecting these new arts for the future mass practice, after the future Iranian Nationalist Revolution & abolishment of Islamic Iran.


Ahreemanic Fine Arts :jahel:

In a time being, we have no choice but practice these theories with good pious of Santee Mosque (IRI Mosque in San Diego County) & future PQ (Rancho PenasQuitos) Mosque! Would you believe good pious Muslim are planning to build the largest & the greatest mosque in San Diego Country & possibly California, in Ahreeman's neighborhood (PQ)! Boy, they must've heard that I am a devout Muslim & simply loves Muslim! They want to build one next door, right under my nose!

What can I say, every time Mosques go up in San Diego County, suddenly by some bizarre & amazing twist of faith, certain Invisible Dark Ahreemanic Powers from beyond, cause the vandalizing & damage of these mosques, also suffrage & heartache of the good Muslim & Mosque going folks in these areas! And if that doesn't work, then suddenly a little black birdie informs the local KKK of the local mosque's exact location & hours of service, so the good local KKK can drop by during closing hours to do some private Namaz al Jama'a (Group Prayers) @ the mosque! You see, KKK are also devout Muslim, yet they prefer prayers @ middle of the night because they enjoy silent prayers! They conduct their prayers via Cross Burnings & a Lot O Fire! Allah bless KKK!
:kkk:
Ahreeman always welcomes building of the new mosques in San Diego County! Islamic Republic of Iran, Other Arabo_Muslim & Good Muslim keep on building them, & some strange twist of faith keeps on special decorating them! Imam Jum'a of Santee Mosque is a great fan of my writings, he has a special kind of love for me, he is a great fan of mine!
:hojat:
Iman Foundation of Los Angeles & Alavi Foundation of New York, must count their blessings thus Ahreeman does not live in them cities! Allah bless Ahreeman (what an irony)!

Ahreeman works in mysterious ways! Now on to Ahreemanic Fine Arts, we go:

Hanging Upside Down by The Balls! :hanging:

This is one of Ahreeman's very special styles of Ahreemanic Fine Arts! I have borrowed this fine style from my great ancestor "Aqa Mohamad Khan-e Qajar", the great artist! Aqa Khan was such a talented artist! So afterwards, I have studied, developed it, perfect it, practiced it & now I can bravely state that I have primed & advanced this fine art as a Neo Modern Fine Ahreemanic Art Style! Today, maybe we have no one to practice with, except the local Hizbollah & Mosque Dwellers of SD, yet in the future; we are planning to mass practice this fine art in every major circle in every major city of Iran! We shall perform this fine art on pious Ayatollahs, Hojatol Eslams, Tolab, Rag Heads, Pasdaran, Basijis and Ansar-e Hizbollah indeed! Hanging Upside Down by The Balls from the fine Persian tall trees, street lamp poles & ad banners of Persian cities shall become fashionable by us!

It is a shame that Great Aqa Mohamad Khan will not be alive to witness our Ahreemanic Talent! He would have been very proud of me! Like Great Great Grand Father, like Great Great Grand Son! We are not worthy Aqa Khan, you were the Master! Aqa Khan, what a guy! He was a humorous man!
:TF:
Presently we perform this fine art via gentle silk threads, yet in the future we are planning to perform it with thick & rough industrial ropes!


Butt Plugs! :doctorF:

Butt Plugs shall also become very fashionable in future Iran! Today we operate with plastic plugs, coke bottles, vibrating dildos, cucumbers & when we are in the mood even with Baseball Bats! But tomorrow in Iran, once we master this art, we shall perform it with Batoon (Baton), Chomaq (Islamic Baseball Bat), Shakhe Dast Koloft (Thick Tree Branches), Luleh Ab (Water Pipes) & Tir Ahan (Construction Iron Rods for building foundation) indeed!

Presently we are performing this fine art with Vaseline, KY Jelly and Industrial Anal Lubes, but in the future we are planing to perform this task via no lubricous & flat dry (Khoshk Khoshk)!

Abdol Igor :kohezboii: , Ahay Abdol Igor, Khoshk biar baba jan, where are you baba?!

The Humanitarian Aspect! :samur:

Of course, as Ahreeman is a great humanitarian, we have strictly ordered to Children of The Night, not to expire anyone, neither today nor tomorrow in Iran! We shall only inflict some joyful pleasureful pain!

In the future of Iran, these Ahreemanic Arts shall only be performed, after legal international tribunals & public trials! Once the just trials are over, then the Ahreeman & Ahreemanic Hordes of Darkness will take over & kick start the festivities by dragging the convicts to major circles of Iranian Cities. Then the festivities shall start with some mild Butt Plug Action, leading to some hard-core Khoshk Khoshk, Tir Ahan (Construction Iron Rods for building foundation) action. Of course this is only the orderve, then we move on to Hanging Upside Down by The Balls via the industrial ropes! We shall do our national duty to decorate the Iranian cities' TreeTops & Lamp Poles via good Pious Muslim & Hizbollah Christmas hanging looms!
:scared: :devgrin:
Ahreeman is a humanitarian, so we shall instruct the Ahreemanic Hordes, not to expire anyone via quick Islamic Style of Fine Arts, yet we shall do it in Ahreemanic Traditions; Slow, painful, yet joyful torturous festivities which can go on & on & on for days and weeks and ................, using Ahreemanic Fine Arts! But then again we can skip the festivities & do the worst thing that we can do to the Holy Clerics: Just hand them over to general public! Boy, you do not want to see that happen! The largest pieces will be the ears! Allah forbid! Even though the thought of it, is much appetizing, yet the humanitarian side o Ahreeman, avoids him to do so!

To think of these future festivities, makes my mouth to water & drool! It is like keeping the candy away from a child, yet tease him by showing it to him from the far! Oh the joy of it all!

All this violence & gore, made me thirsty for blood!

Hey Abdol Igore :kohezboii: , say Abdol Igore, do we have any cold refreshing blood in the "Ahreeman's House of Pleasureful Pains"? What did you say? No! None left! Dang! Well alrighty then; just bring us some chilled Red Cranberry Juice to quench our never-ending thirst for blood! Run along Abdol Igore, Run along my children of the dark, thus Ahreeman is much thirsty!
:cran:
Well folks, Ahreeman gots to go! We have Fine Arts to practice & perfect. We must get ready for the Big Future Show in Tehran! \:D/

The Show must go on ............. :Dyno:

Hee Hee Hee How How Howl .............. :wolf:

Ahreeman Bless

Sign,
:firedvl:
The Essence of Darkness
The Evil1
Watcher in the woods
User avatar
Ahreeman X
General 5 Star
General 5 Star
 
Posts: 1354
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 1:54 pm
Location: San Diego, CA, USA

Return to Jokes, Comedy, Satire & Satirical Poetry Room

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron