Who wants what for Nowruz?

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Who wants what for Nowruz?

Postby Ahreeman X » Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:55 am

:question: Who wants what for Nowruz? :question:
Ahreemanic Nowruz Special
Nowruz 2565 Shahanshahi


:devnoid:
Famous Ahreemanic One Liners,
Which you gotta be quick to get!


:devbrowed: Hello Boys & Girls!
Hello Boils & Ghouls!
Happy Persian New Year!
So you want Eydi, haaaaaaa?
Have you been good?!
Well, it is time to ask for your Eydi presents from Poppa Ahreeman!
So without further due,
Tell Poppa Ahreeman:
Who Wants What for Nowruz?



Imam Khamenei?
A new big boned, rough-necked, muscular pasdar boy for Holy Lavat!

Rafsanjani?
A new stock option to buy Bill Gates out of Microsoft!

Khatami?
A new spine & a new smile!

Khatami Jr.?
A Hand Book: Not to follow older brother's lead!

Kahrubi?
Political stability & identity!

Ex Vice President Massoumeh Ebtekar?
A Reference Book: How to sleep with useful presidents rather than Reformists (Khatami)!

Faezeh Hashemi Rafsanjani?
A new show on MTV with Paris Hilton, named: "Untalented Sluty Girls with Rich Daddies"!

Shahroodi?
An Arabic-Persian Dictionary!

Ahmadinejad?
A new face lift!

Ali Velayati?
A new Velayat (land) to move out of Iran!

Shirin Ebadi?
A new frame for her Piss Nipple Price (Peace Nobel Price) & a pair of earplugs to not hear political prisoners' screams!

Khomeini?
Less socks Full O Shiite thrown on his grave in his shrine!

Khalkhali?
A new pitchfork puncture-proof & fireproof suit, which can resist high temperatures in Hell!

12th Imam Mahdi?
A new flashlight, to find his way out of the well!

Mohammed?
22nd wife!

Ali ibn al Abi Talib?
Kabob ibn al Kubideh!

Suicide Bombers?
73rd Virgin!

Muslim?
5th Wife!

Muslim Apologists?
A guide for beginners on how to read Quran!

Fundamentalists?
More American flags to burn!

Moderates?
More assets, stocks & funds for Kar Gozaran!

Reformists?
A new Civil Society & Rule of Law Slogan!

Basij Force?
New Long Sharp Knives + New Chomaqs (Islamic Baseball Bats)!

Ansar Hizbollah?
New copies of Mein Kampf for how to BlitzKrieg unarmed students!

Sepah Pasdaran's Generals?
A Guide: How to escape accidental plane crashes & assassinations by the order of Imam, due to fear of a Coup!

Sepah Pasdaran?
How to get their heads out of Imam's ass!

Marxists?
A clue!

Communists?
A News Flash: It is Zeros (2000s), we don't live in 80s anymore!

Monarchists?
A Real Shah!

Female Mojaheds?
New Green Islamic colored Lachaks (scarves), because the old Red ones, are the color of Marxism!

Male Mojaheds?
New pans to pan-handle @ airports, train stations & bus terminals!

Fedayian?
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Stalin is Dead!

SUMKA?
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Hitler is Dead!

Muslim Student Association?
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Khomeini is Dead!

Jebhe Meli in Iran?
A Hand Book: Reforms & Democracy under Islam is a Myth!

Jebhe Meli (National Front)?
Lost Prestige!

Hezbe Tudeh (Communist Party)?
Prestige they never had!

Nehzat Azadi (Meli Mazhabi)?
A guide: How to distinguish between Iran & Islam?

Iman & Alavi Foundations?
Iranian Cultural Identity!

Iranian Up_Position?
A ticket out of LaLa Land!

Iranian Up_Position Leaders?
More new promises to give people!

Iranian Talk Show Hosts?
More provided Suitcases for Iranians to pack, because, this time we are surly going home!

Reza Pahlavi II?
Pair of Balls!

Yasmin Pahlavi?
A Real Man!

Princess Ashraf?
A new teenage lover!

Empress Farah Pahlavi?
A copy of: Iran or Islam Speech by Ahreeman X!

Imperial Generals still Alive?
An Old Fart Banquet in Los Angeles to reminisce!

Imperial Statesmen still Alive?
An Opium Den Gathering in Los Angeles, where there will be a lot of Opium, Vodka, Kabobs, & indeed cries & moans about suffering & pains of living in Exile!

Maryam Rajavi?
A new Lion & Sun Tricolor Lachak scarf!

Massoud Rajavi?
A 3 hole, Black Ski Mask (The New Al Qaeda Style)!

Dr. Adib Boroumand of Jebhe Meli?
A new Deal with Mullahs!

Dr. Ebrahim Yazdi of Nehzat Azadi?
A Life!

Ahmad Madani?
The Book: Dreams of Presidency!

Foroud Fouladvand?
A new Opium set [manqal (grill), vafur (pipe), samawar (tea boiler), ...]!

Dr. Manouchehr Ganji?
An actual fabric Derafsh-e Kaviyani!

Sam Ghandchi?
A box of new Hi Tech Ghands (Sugar Cubes) which self dissolves in the mouth (no extra effort required)!

Aryo Pirouznia?
Imported Karchak Oil from Qom, for spit shining bald heads!

Dr. Ali Sina?
A new blessed Quran from Mecca!

Osama Bin Ladin?
Sallah al Din's wardrobe!

Saddam Hussein?
Shirin Ebadi as a new lawyer!

Iranian Satellite Television Owners?
A new garage studio!

Iranian Television Show Hosts?
An instruction video by Fereydoun Farokhzad on how to be a showman!

Iranian Radios?
More cheese to create cheesy programming!

Iranian Exiled Media?
More Bull Shiite to feed people!

Iranian Exiled Music Stars?
Talent!

New Rising Stars of Iranian Pop Music?
2 Butt Plugs: one to shove/plug their mouths & the 2nd one to shove/plug their ....!

Iranian Man-Whore singers (Bache Kuns) of Los Angeles?
Imported Big Boned, pure breed Persian Donkeys to Frag them up the Shiiter!

Iranian Female Pop Singers?
A new career in pornography!

Iranian Pop music lyricists?
A pot full o piss to wash their lyrics with!

Iranian Actors?
Daytime jobs!

Zia Atabay?
A new hair piece!

Manuk Khodabakhshiyan?
A soccer ball to play with & a scotch tape for the mouth, to avoid preaching politics!

Dr. Ahura (Yazidi) Yazdi?
A 7 passenger Canoe to row to Iran with his cult!

Shahram K (Shahram-e Gay)?
A new Big Black Boy Friend right out of State Prison!

Googoosh?
A new Jet Turbo Dildo model # 747, cause nothing else would do the job!

Ramesh?
A new Bull Dyke, Butch Girl, Iranian Lezbo with hairy legs!

Shohreh?
A Kilo of a prime uncut Cocaine!

Leila Forouhar?
A stretch bench to add to her height!

Khordadian?
A Big Boned Hairy Iranian Bear to do the Tango with!

Iranian businesses & stores in Westwood, LA?
New Iranian Flags with Star of David center piece, to decorate the store fronts!

Iranian Car Dealers?
"Get out of jail free card" for selling salvaged cars!

Iranian Muslim?
3 Step Program: How to become Iranian again!

Iranian-American Youth?
Guide book: How to speak Persian & have Iranian National Identity!

Iranian Youth in Tehran?
Guide book: How to quit drugs, stand up against Islam & commit to a Revolution!

Iranian Torshideh single girls over 30, still living with their parents?
For God's sake, a husband!

Iranian Men?
Effort to kiss their women & tell them that they love them!

Iranian Women?
Fuel to burn Chadors & Lachaks!

Eye-Rainians?
A new Eye to keep on the Rain!

Iranians?
A new Will, to rise up!

Ahreeman?
Your Health & Happiness in year 2565!


Now C'mon here & kiss Poppa Ahreeman for Nowruz!

Who loves you babies?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else
?!

Happy Persian New Year to All,
Nowruzetan Piruz!


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Ahreeman X
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