Why I prefer Plant over Human?!

Chronicles of Ahreeman

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Why I prefer Plant over Human?!

Postby Ahreeman X » Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:07 am

Why I prefer Plant over Human?!
A Manifestation!
Revised: April 16, 2006

I, The Gardener, :rose:
I am The Gardener.
I prefer Plant over Human!
Strange, you say?

I prefer plants over human beings! Why, you ask?

Plants are beautiful.
Plants are calm.
Plants give me a sense of peace & relaxation.
Plants are adorable.
Plants help me forget the problems in the world.
Plants are interesting to study.
Plants are fun to observe.
Plants are interesting to watch grow.
Plants give me a peace of mind.
Plants are lovely.

I have a beautiful garden; this is my way to cope with life. I speak to my plants. They are my babies. I love them.

Gardens of Ecbatana

My garden has 4 sections on 4 sides of the house:

* Back Garden (Hidden Treasures): Fruit Trees, Vines, Rose Bushes, Birds of Paradise & other fragrance flowers

* Right Garden (The Right Wing): Geraniums, Desert Rose & other short beddings & plants

* Left Garden (The Left Wing): Rose Bushes, Birds of Paradise, Fruit Trees, and variety of beddings & flowers

* Front Garden (The Facade): Rose Bushes, Jasmine, Giant Palms, Giant Birds of Paradise, trees, etc.

The House plus The Garden, makes up "Ecbatana" (my state), my hideout from people, from civilization, away from human contact!

I have:

20 fruit trees
24 Rose Bushes
many other trees, bushes, vines, flowers & coverings.

Everything must have a purpose,
I do not like decorative things!
Flowers must look good & smell good.
Trees must be unique, rare or bare fruits.

Every flower which I have, every flower that I buy, must often have a great fragrance to it. It must have a fine odor & smell, otherwise why would I buy it? A flower must smell good or it is useless to me! Just like dogs. I cannot stand useless little poodles or shiatsus! I want a killer dog, a Doberman, a Shepherd, something that can be a good security guard, something that can kill people with one bite! Some kind of Dog that can wrestle me & take a bite off my leg & give me a challenge wrestling!

Everything must have a use, a purpose!
I do not like decorative things or useless things!

I have 24 Rose Bushes, hell, half of them are as tall as 6'6" tall! They are taller than I (6'3")! I have grown almost everything in my garden by myself & I grew them from nothingness or since they were babies. They are my babies. I can lose myself in my garden! I have 24 Rose Bushes of different colors & different breeds & all of them have a special fragrance.

I have red, yellow, white, pale, orange, pink, black, & even the rare silver rose!
I even have certain Rose Bushes with two tone colors.
I even have certain rose bushes, which bloom in one color, grow in second color & die out in third color!
I even have rose bushes with actually two completely different breeds & color of roses on each side!

I have the strangest breeds of Roses!

I love my fruit trees:
Orange, grapefruit, lemon, tangerine, plum, avocado,
Persimmon, pomegranates, dates, kumquats, loquats,
On goes the list ......
I even have the rare "Sweet Persian Lemon"! Americans do not even have this tree! Mexicans have it though! Sweet Lemon, is not really a lemon, yet it is a different fruit, which is citrus, yet we call it lemon, but it is sweet as orange! Lots of vitamin C. Mexicans call it Lima Dulce.
I even have a special blend of peach, especially made for my main squeeze!
Many of these trees, I grew from scratch (seeds) & now they are 15 feet tall trees!
I, The Creator!

I have flowers with beautiful odors & beauty,
Honey Suckle, Jasmine, etc.

I have many Black Desert Rose, which in fact is a type of cactus! I have a variety of Cactus Breeds.
I have specific palms, huge & thick, short & glorious, on both sides of my driveway, they are very expensive, I would say about 2,500 Dollars each.

I have Giant Birds of Paradise with Black & White Flowers (14 feet high) in the front garden & then, Short Birds of Paradise with Orange, White & Purple (Derafsh Kaviyani) Flowers (7 feet high) in the back garden! Amazing flowers, which resemble birds!

You see, this is my other side, this is my time away from this world, this is how I lose myself in embrace of my babies.

I walk in my garden. All 4 sides of my house are plants & gardens. I built this world. I created this world. They are my babies.

I walk in my garden @ night & I speak to my babies, I smell them, I take care of them.
I stare in to my garden @ daytime, I stare @ distant horizon, I sit on the porch, stare @ flowers & lose myself in deep thoughts. I get inspired!

I do weeding, feeding, Ironing, exterminating, soiling, mulching, trimming, watering, ................... I never ever in my life, hired a Gardener!

Gardeners are like Car Wash Attendants, useless! They over charge you & always miss something & do a half ass job! How can they care about your rare plants & valuable cars, the same way that you do? They never do the job right, especially for an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist like me! The Frag with them, I take care of my babies! I detail my automobiles & I garden my own garden! I am dead busy, but I manage!

Gardening is good for the body,
Physical work, builds the body & character!
Gardening is good for the soul,
Beauty of nature, sooths the soul & psyche!

I, The Gardener,
I, The Creator!

Sometimes I do not take care of them for a week or two, & I can swear I hear them scream & calling for me to water & feed them.

I can do gardening for 7 hours straight, the other week I came home 12:30 PM from teaching & gardened until 7:30 PM! It is lots of work, a lot & lot of work, only trimming branches is a lot by itself! I have trees 35 feet tall!

But you know what?

This is my world, the world I created, the world away from the zoo out there!

Let's see, whose a Dishy Babe that I love to bag? Uma Thurman, Liv Taylor, Jodie Foster, or maybe Brooke Shields?

I would reject them all to be with my plants!

I turn down the most gorgeous Chunky little blonde or Teen child bride if it comes down to my plants!

I prefer plants over human beings!
Take away the humanity & grant me the plants!

Plants do not talk back.
Plants do not give attitude.
Plants don't get headaches.
Plants do not PMS.
Plants do not go on the Rag.
Plants do not get Migraine Headaches.
Plants never grow up to become God Damn Liberal Democrats.
Plants do not become Islamists!
Plants do not become Militant Homosexuals.
Plants do not commit to Gay Marriage & then Gay Adoption!
Plants do not become Feme Nazis.
Plants do not turn to Bull Dykes!
Plants do not become Serial killers.
Plants do not become President Clitoris to be elected for two terms, coming from Arkansas & during a Cigar Episode, to forget about receiving a blowjob from an Sperm Dumpster Intern!
Plants do not become hypocrites & Desk Ballers!
Plants do not become politically correct!

Plants do not become part of the Hypocrisy (political correctness) like bloody President of the university that first decides to conduct a public vote by all student/faculty/staff body to keep a certain Indian Mascot or let it go, after 70 years of tradition by this Mascot/Icon/Logo to serve as our Identification Icon. Then students vote to keep the Mascot, but just because a few sissy faggy minority militant Indian/Black politically correct wus balls find it offensive, a 70 years old tradition of our university will seize to exist! President on his sole authority decides to kill the Icon of our university after 70 years! And later on, only when people like myself start a rebellion on campus, he decides to keep the Mascot but to make him dress politically correct.

And now our Mascot looks nothing like the Great Aztec Warrior-Emperor! Now our Aztec Emperor Mascot, looks like a Feathered Gay-Lord out of a Gay-La in a Politically Correct Gay-World! He is a fraction of what he used to be, only because of a Bastard Hypocrite President who hates my guts, but he can't get rid of me, simply because he needs me! The whole department loves me, my students kill for me, my superiors die for me, staff adores me, & university needs me, otherwise he would have gotten rid of me, long time ago! Which I do not give a flying fandango anyway! People in my field, do not look for jobs, but agents nation wide, search & offer us jobs in variety of corporations. The only reason that I still teach & work in university, making half of what I can make outside, is because I love the academic intellectual atmosphere of the university, I love the honesty & I hate the corporate back stabbing political world out there! Also universities do not move or merge, but corporations do! Besides, if I get too lonesome for the corporate world out there, I take a contract here or there, which I always do! But thanks to the Bong Hole Hypocrite President, he brought politics even to our campus!

Hypocrisy & political correctness even among administration & administrative decision-makings! Well, not that I have ever had much respect for the Dean or President & I told this in their faces! They can blow me anytime they want, right before they fire me. Hey, the minute they get rid of me, Uncle Bill @ Seattle will be greeting me @ Microsoft & if Seattle is too wet, then theres always Motorola in Texas, Qualcom in San Diego, Nokia in San Diego, or even Silicon Valley! Sky is the limit. But I was never a Kiss Ass, I will never be one, & I had always lived life, My Way (Frank Sinatra)!

"Frag them all", has always been my motto!

Shoot them "All" & let "Allah" sort them out!
Frag them "All" & do not even use Vaseline!

So,

Plants are not jealous.
Plants do not envy.
Plants do not play politics.
Plants do not bitch.
Plants do not get their feelings hurt.
Plants do not get offended.
Plants do not carry grudges.
Plants do not betray you.
Plants do not stab you in the back.
Plants do not become anarchists.
Plants do not end up as Ku Klux Klans.
Plants do not become Black Panthers.
Plants do not become Nation of Islam.
Plants do not sing Allah O Akbar.
Plants do not go: Ashhado Ana Muhammad al Rasul Allah...Aha aha aaaaaa Yaha yaha yahahaha...
Plants do not make coups.
Plants do not commit genocide.
Plants do not become Dictators.
& for sure

"Plants do not make Islamic Revolution or best said Islamic Reaction"
& screw up an 8000 years old, most Ancient Civilization on Earth named Persia & turn it to a Shiite hole!
Ye,
Plants do not become Velayat-e Faqih!
Plants do not become Ayatollahs!

Plants do not become Popes, Bishops or Pedophile Butt Banging Priests of Catholic Church!
So the Church has to decide that if these priests banged butt as the first offense or as consecutive offenses! What does it matter?! Once or twice or multiple butt banging of Choir Boys?! Send them to rot in jail & be Butt Banged by thick boned Black Brothers named "Baba Johnson" & "Hambone Washington", in there! Lets see if the Jesus will come to their rescue while Baba Johnson will do a number on their Holy butts!

Let Big Baba, do "The Nasty" on them Holy Butts!
Pain, Pleasure & then stiches!

Plants do not become prophets, conduct miracles, behalf the moon, walk on the water, or divide the Red Sea! They don't turn sticks to snakes, they don't turn water to wine, neither will they bring a book of crap full of stories made for adults & bring messages from Allah, Jesus, Lord or Yahveh or any other great invisible guy in the sky who is deciding on the faith of the population under!

Plants are selfless.
Plants love me for myself.
Plants are faithful forever.
Plants do not faction out of IPC & branch out of the movement.
Plants do not betray Iran.
Plants do not Arab Worship.
Plants do not bend over & read Namaz!
Plants do not put their personal agenda over Iran's prosperity.
Plants do not sell Iran by the pound.
Plants do not have an office, a large size desk, a leather office chair to sit on as an opposition leader & play with their Dicks & Balls, 24 hours straight & do it behind their office desks as "Desk Ballers"!
Plants remain faithful to the end.
Plants give you what you give them.
Plants take, but they give back flowers, fruits, fragrance & beauty.
Plants love me because I love them.
Plants are my life & my babies.
Plants are sincere.
Plants will remain forever if you take care of them.
Plants are eternal ......
Plants give me hope.
Plants give me a new reason to struggle for another day.
Plants make my sun shine!

I could without hesitation Nuke a few million useless human beings, less idiots on Earth, more Oxygen for the rest of human population, actually:

Less Human Beings on Earth = More Environment & Resources for Plants!

Slaughter all the Bozos with the Bozone around them! Turn more Bozone to Ozone! More Air for others!

Ye, I can Nuke a million or two human beings, human is just an Animal, nothing more & nothing less. Less useless Animals, less pollution, less massacre, less religious wars, less terrorism, less pollution on Mother Earth!

Frag them all, kill them all & let Allah sort them out!

I have no problem Nuking a million or Two Islamic Fundies in Middle East! But I cannot destroy a single plant! I cannot kill a plant, a beautiful plant, living breathing plant, which provides beauty, glory; it even provides me oxygen!

Human takes oxygen & exhales Carbon out, but plants even provide me with Oxygen, because they inhale Carbon CO2 & exhale Oxygen! Plants are good for environment, human are not!

I can't hurt a single plant. They are my babies! I even hate to clip my Roses, I do it gently so they do not feel the pain, I make it like cutting toenails, so they do not feel it! I do not want to hurt my Roses.

This is My World away from this world.
In My World, I am The Creator,
In My World, my creations love me!
In My World, we live in peace.
In My World, there lives only Love,
My Plants & I,
Pure Love,
I, The Creator,
I, The Gardener ......

My plants are my world, they remain faithful to me & they remain my friends & keep me company until the end. They will stay with me until the end. They are my true friends, my salvation, my essence of life.....

And when I die (I doubt that it will be by natural death!), do not burry me, I need Air, I am claustrophobic!

They shall cremate me, burn this body, let the Holy Fire burn me & shed light & then.........
Throw my ashes from the top of Torry Pines Cliffs @ Torry Pines Beach, the most beautiful & clean Water Beach in San Diego............throw my ashes from the top of the cliffs into Pacific Ocean, let me rejoice & rejoin with Ocean, we came from the water, we go back to the water (Evolution), let me be free........but please........ shed a bit of my ashes onto the soil of my garden & water my garden so my ashes will blend with the soil & be fed to my plants.

I shall become Plant!
I will become my plants, free from filth of this world & become pure beauty, pure innocence, pure plant.

free me to the sun,
free me to the wind,
free me to the soil,
free me to the water,
free me to the air,
free me to the nature,
free me to my plants,
free me to eternity ......

Oh, I will live forever, in the essence of my plants & among my plants, & when you smell a rose in my garden or when you eat one of my plums, you will remember me, remember that once upon a time, lived a being named, .........

Ahreeman X

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Postby LOJ » Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:40 pm

Sounds like someone has been "bitched at" lately.
I suck at gardening, as I do cooking, every man I've ever had must have the pre-requisite of cooking. You won't believe this but it's true.....ah never mind read your offlines, this is personal.

Anyway I prefer CATS, they are soooo much like me that we understand one another like best friends. My two babies are the sweetest, smartest species on the planet!
You can love plants, you can give them care and love but can they give it back to you??? Well I guess they can in an inanimated way where you IMAGINE that they can, sorta like you say you CAN SWEAR THAT THEY ARE SCREAMING AT YOU.....to me this sounds more like the WIFE that you might imagine you have at times :-:

love my fruit tree

How did I KNOW that these would be your favorite amongst them :-: .

You go onnnnn about how supreme your plants are...but don't you realize that if you were to give this same AMOUNT of attention and benefit that it might be possible to have a HUMAN turn out the same way....i.e. unconditionally loving, willing to listen, yes, yes, I know humans are NOT UNCONDITIONAL.....so the saying goes. But I personally believe that there are SOME that are very close. And the more they are around people like you and I the more we can "TRAIN" them to become like us, i.e. Unconditional, unbiased, accepting \:D/
You get what you give, this has been my saying FOREVER!
Even though this was definitely NOT the case in Iran or with any EXTREMIST, but for most humans that have BRAINS and use them! Not for those that CAN'T AND DON'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES....for them there is no hope but a severe accident!

Do your plants entertain you, and give you unconditional love by jumping on your lap if you've had a bad day or they sense that you are sick? Prolly not like my two boys can and do.


My babies will always be the apples of my eye, prior to any human...or plant.....but hey if plants are your choice in life....live and let live and to each their own.
Whatever works.
But my personal advice is: Don't shut humans out due to the idiocrasy of one or two, after all they do work with you....and YOU can be a PIA at times, so review your actions as well. :-:
I'm not saying that you are ALWAYS to blame, but......Lets face facts, you are quick to give opinions that only YOU think apply.
Yes you are intelligent, yes you have done a lot with your life, yes you have helped a lot of people and a lot of other things that very few can attest to.
But you have to do what I do at times, which is try to look at situations from a third persons POV. Put yourself in the persons shoes in which you are judging and try to understand WHY and HOW they are thinking about you this way....you'd be surprised at how this helps....at times.
I couldn't insert the image but to see MY STRESS RELIEF GUYS go here :D .

http://us.f2.yahoofs.com/bc/4211afa3_10a2/bc/MY+PICS/dfd9.jpg?bf7BAREBm3acbo5M
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Postby Ahreeman X » Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:42 pm

In the name of:

Father @ Under
Image

Son @ Above
Image

and
The Evil spirit connecting The Two
Image

We Shall shed some Darkness on the issue.............

Now Evil is connecting to you ................

Woman:

Enough with episodes of "1001 Persian Nights", "Lori in Shiraz", "Lori's Advise Column" or other "Bang O Salavat Bologna"!

Hey that reminds me of something!
Remind me to give you a column (Lori's Advise Column or name of your choice) to shed some bits o wisdom on folks, in the Up & Coming IPC Website, will ya?!

Woman,

This is Ahreeman you are talking to!
I grew you up, since you were 6 years old, the same age which,
Mohammed (Allah Bless His Bone) had molested Ayishah!
Remember?

Woman,

You can't post an image.
You can't post a link.
You Fragged Up your paragraphs.
You can barely maintain yourself not to sip on Screw Driver while writing this!

And yet, you are trying to give advise to a God (Ahreeman)?!

Woman try changing your Yahoo Photos' settings to "Public" rather than "Private", then try to show a photo!

Woman must I teach you everything?

How do you like the new place?
Hee Hee Hee How Howl ...........
Yeeeeeeeeez, Ahreeman is everywhere & he is watching All ........

Ahreeman Bless

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Postby LOJ » Tue Apr 25, 2006 11:40 pm

And yet, you are trying to give advise to a God (Ahreeman)


Dear you still have yet to learn how to spell....it's ADVICE. Advise would be the VERB for what you would do when others need your ADVICE.
You see ADVICE is a NOUN and ADVISE is a VERB.
Must I TEACH YOU EVERYTHING???

Lori's Advise Column or name of your choice)


How's about "Lori's ADVICE column on how to correct Ahreeman's spelling and grammar"?
Oh I guess I should have mentioned or added at the end "while no one at IPC will know that the above (i.e. correcting your spelling and grammar" is being done :D .

Enough with episodes of "1001 Persian Nights", "Lori in Shiraz", "Lori's Advise Column" or other "Bang O Salavat Bologna"



Now this mesmerizes me....how is it you can get simple words like "advise" wrong, yet can spell and USE words like "BOLOGNA" right.....hmmmmm, something tells me that you need to extend your diet to include more meats or less ADVICE from people like BB \:D/ I.E. ADVICE from BB=Bologna...hey maybe that is why her nickname is BB....

Later Alligator....and who loves you baby...I guess it could be HOjack...i.e. BB lately, since your slipping in some crucial areas..... [-X
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Postby Ahreeman X » Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:21 pm

I have to share this funny wise remarks of Lori with yous! She sent this to my PM:

Lori to Ahreeman:


WE ARE GOING TO PLAY A GUESSING GAME..... TRY TO GUESS WHICH STATEMENTS (BEFORE READING MY ANSWERS) THAT I WILL AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH YOU ON BASED ON MY REPLY. I TOLD YOU I WAS BORED!

Plants are selfless.


So are People isn't that why they came up with the name PHILANTHROPIST....HAH! The mere fact they needed to create a title for that definition tells me your RIGHT!!!!!!

Plants love me for myself.


YOU love YOU for yourself and that is where the word narcissistic was derived from. Notice that NARC is the root of this word too...hmmmmm

Plants are faithful forever.


Define FAITHFUL! It can mean a lot of things like being loyal to a religion, is that where the Calathea plant came about since it is called the praying plant.....I kill myself

Faithful can also mean constant, which if you want to be technical I'm faithful, since I've been told I'm a CONSTANT Pain in the ass.
So be careful on your word choice dear.

Plants do not faction out of IPC and branch out of the movement.


Oh I wouldn't be so sure...there are a few members there that I would consider of the plant/vegatative state:)

Plants do not betray Iran.


Thats not true, any plant that is not indigenous to Iran is betraying it.

Plants do not Arab Worship.


Sure they do, those that were shipped by arabs to other destinations...get it???? Ok forget it.....

Plants do not bend over and read Namaz!


Once more how do you know this.....we have established a PRAYING PLANT; we just aren't sure of it's religion!

I will finish it later......my digestive enzymes are creating whats called "need to eat" breath. Which is perfectly understandable since it time to eat now, it's been three days.
Luvs, LoLo

I'm back......

Plants do not have an office, a large size desk, a leather office chair to sit on as an opposition leader and play with their Dicks and Balls, 24 hours straight and do it behind their office desks as "Desk Ballers"!
Plants remain faithful to the end.


No they don't but in the end they all go to POT! Their GREEN and never go out on a LIMB for you, not to mention they constantly BUG you so you feel like DIRT all the time, and they never let you feel like a real man since you always have to WET them....DAMN I'M GOOD, YET HUMBLE

Plants give you what you give them.


Not always true, I once gave a cactus a bunch of profanity after tripping over it and it never said a word. Although I waited. (then again it was after a night out of drinking and I was on my way to give the "JOHN" something too)...and FYI: by JOHN; I mean an inanimate object, not a person or husband to be!

Plants take, but they give back flowers, fruits, fragrance and beauty.


SEE ABOVE:)

Plants love me because I love them.


But do they nag at you about not taking the trash out, or do they kiss you once on each cheek when you remember to put the lid down...now no one can say that they are loved until this happens!

Plants are my life and my babies.


THANK GAWD, I couldn't imagine 900 little ahreemans dancing around the globe....see there is a GOD, just BELIEVE DEAR, BELIEVE!

Plants are sincere.


Yes they are but so is a toilet if you want to take the definition of sincere literally....it only means being genuine and without pretense or hidden agendas...last I checked toilets had no hidden agendas they were meant to be shiite on....DAMN I'M GOOD, YET HUMBLE

Plants will remain forever if you take care of them.


One would only know this if they themself were eternal beings, but since your name isn't spock......I have a hard time buying this one.

Plants are eternal ......


SEE PRIOR ANSWER.

Plants give me hope.


A LOT OF THINGS COULD, if you'd reciprocate that action. And Hope is derived or motivated by failure or lack of something that is why we hope. So by saying that they GIVE you HOPE isn't really correct that would be like saying...

LORI'S marriages give her Hope in DIVORCE ....yeah, ooooh thats not good

Plants give me a new reason to struggle for another day.


Are you sure you want to use the word STRUGGLE? That quote sounds like something one of my ex's would say. Becuz their new reason to struggle is to keep me happy and to ensure that I'm up no later than 2:30PM so I can be wide awake when my favorite soap comes on (i.e. Guiding Light).

Plants make my sun shine!


So would a LOOSE fitting BELT! [shake]

LUV YOU DEAR,
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Postby Ahreeman X » Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:08 pm

:memezani: Lori:

In my new version of:

Why I prefer Plant over Human?
http://iranpoliticsclub.net/founder/pla ... /index.htm

I have discussed the benefits of plants over animals. For instance, look at the jelly belly on the fat cat you are holding in your new profile pic! Set aside looking at your jelly belly, which I had photo shopped off so you will look good! I mean couple of jelly bellies on a couple of animals! But do plants get jelly bellies? You see?

I truly enjoyed your spoof reply to my piece. It seems like you got revenge for the 99 names for Allah piece! Good job. Maybe I publish it along with 99 names for Allah.

Hee Hee Hee

Later Poo Bear

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