Marriage Ad: WebMistress needs Real Iranian Man!

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Marriage Ad: WebMistress needs Real Iranian Man!

Postby CR » Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:27 pm

Marriage Ad: WebMistress needs Real Iranian Man!

Classifieds - Mate Call

:Guitarclassic: :violin2: :pianoman:
Baadaa baadaa Mobaarak Baadaa, ishaalaa..........

Don't let the picture in the profile fool you. Make Up & Special Effects do wonders! I am Koor, Kachal & little bit Aghab Mandeh!

Dear Iranian Men, :jahel:

I am: :lachak:

4 feet 6 inches
260 pounds
Bare Foot & Pregnat
4 children in the house & one on the way
little bit retarded
Hygiene problems
crooked teeth
Charcoal dark
some hair on the breasts
Hairy hands & legs
Big parrot nose
Balding in the middle of my head
Gigantic butt
smelly arm pits & privates
I am a High School Drop Out, so they wouldn't let me in the college!
I have no job, I am a private contractor!
My Hobbies are eating Ghormeh Sabzi, Pirashki, Greasy Kabob & Halim Badenjoon
My Athletic activities are eating lots of chelo morgh & loobia polo
My Intellectual activities are reading Iranian Tabloids while sitting in bathroom for hours
My favorite clothes are Gol Mangoli dahati dresses
My Make up consists of Hanna, sormeh & Band zani
My favorite movie is Gav
My favorite book is Olaq in the dark
My favorite Brain stimulating websites are,, & Taktaz
My favorite intelligence challenging magazine is Javanan & Tehran
I drive a 1979 Pacer AMC, cannot find a specialist mechanic & parts!
I wear Flip Flops
I shower once a week
I'm growing a thin black mustache above my lips

Ohhhhhhhhhh wait wait a second, I almost forgot, I'm also blind in one eye!

* * *

My Ideal man should be: :hizboansar:

Driving at least an $80,000 Mercedes Benz
Have a mansion in Beverly Hills or San Diego
Have at least $1,000,000 cash in bank
Have a Villa in Saint Rope, France
Must have Ph.D, a factory, own business & stocks & bonds
Must be Tall, Dark & Handsome
Your mouth must smell like roses. I hate Piyazoo & Siroo mouths
No belly please. Must fit in Speedos for poolside
Not too hairy, keep it clean
Must buy me a Mercedes Benz SUV, because short girls like me must drive tall SUVs for our inferiority complexes!
Must buy me a diamond Ring at least 3 karats on platinum
Must buy me full Verssachi line of clothings, CoCo Channel Make Up & Britney Spears Perfumes
I want my own poodle doggie
Ohhhhhhhhh wait a second, I almost forgot, I want a coup Mercedes Benz to drive on the beach on weekends.
What else? Oh have I mentioned the Mercedes Benz must be next years model?

I want only men, who are interested in Virgin Teenage Iranian Cheshm o Goosh basteh Dahati girls from Iran, to call me!

I know I am not a virgin or a Teenager but last year I went to doctor & stiched it close & tight again. I don't know if its still closed & tight but the Doctor had Life Time Warranty on the job! I also had a Lipo suction last year!

Please send your sexy pictures, a love poem and qualifications to:

Khanoome Gol Baghali
San Diego Black Ghetto (Logan Heights)
Corner of Dirt Road & Dead End
Next to Shelter & Methodone Clinic
Cross Shahnaz Kooreh's Tent

[-X No Hanky Panky, no dating, no going to movies. Restaurants is OK, only if Persian Restaurant, because I love Polo Chelo. I don't like dating, I want to go straight to marriage. I am a traditional Iranian girl!

Merci Bukoo

Boos Boos :lips:

Fatmeh (Fati) Kachal
A day you haven't learned a new, is a day lost!
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Postby Ahreeman X » Mon Jun 13, 2005 9:31 pm

Cathy Dear:

Everyone is trying to be a Comedian these days! With all due respect, stick with your day job, Web & IPC Operative. Leave Comedy alone! :badgrin:

Naaaaa just kiddin Kido. It was OK, but if you consider me a Good Humor Writer, then allow me to give you some hints:

You see, you try too hard. Same as Lori tries so hard to convince people of her new concepts or different concepts & then she does not even get a single vote in the voting booth to make her point :roll: , you also try so hard to be a comedian! :doubt:

If you really insist on being one, then here we go,

I. Be punctual

You go on & on & on with no end near! Got to be punctual with your points & specifically near the punch lines.

II. Have Punch Lines

Do you see any punch lines? There are many sarcastic remarks of one liner shots but no clear punch lines! You must have clear cut punch lines to get the reader's attention & make him laugh.

III. Cruise Effect

Take the reader on a ride, a cruise of up & down. Slow down, build it up to a punch line & then slow down again & give it a break before you build up to another punch line. Right & left, one after another hit lines are fine but not in the form of compare/comparison which you are doing. They are good in the form of plays such as Nurollah X episodes.

Now do not get me wrong. You done a wonderful job with sarcasm, social criticism, basing on weak points of Persian women & Persian men, & you were pretty radical; however, did you get any audience to read your piece? :-s

The same as Lori, you try so hard to prove a point. Take it easy, use my advise & eventually you might grow up to become a Humor Writer! Keep up the good work.

Just a friendly advise dear :D

Who loves you?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else?

Watcher in the woods
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Ahreeman X
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