Constitution of Iran Politics Club

Brainstorm for the future system, constitution & laws of the Iranian government post IRI. Discuss political activism, methods of struggle, civil disobedience, resistance tactics, revolutionary strategies, covert operations, communications, logistics & paramilitary. Iranian Political Activists, Democratic Movement, Student Movement & Opposition Parties can post their announcements here. Post: activist, resistance, combat & military manuals, articles & books here. Post IPC Website, Club & Political Operations' announcements here.

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Constitution of Iran Politics Club

Postby IPC » Thu Nov 18, 2004 9:12 pm

Constitution of Iran Politics Club
http://IranPoliticsClub.net

1st Amendment.
Iran Politics Club's mission is to protect and serve the Persian Culture.

2nd Amendment.
Iran Politics Club supports the fight to establish Freedom, Secularism, Federalism, Human Rights and Democracy in Iran.

3rd Amendment.
Iran Politics Club supports the achievement of equal rights for "All" Iranian (Persian) ethnic groups. Persian is the Latin term for Iranian; therefore, Persian means Iranian. IPC believes in all Iranian ethnic and racial groups including but not limited to: Persians, Azeris, Kurds, Turkmens, Baluchis, Arabs, Jews, Armenians, Assyrians, Blacks, Orientals, Indians and others, to have equal rights, equal votes, freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of press, freedom of assembly and all other natural human rights and freedoms.

4th Amendment.
IPC is a club for intellectual discussions and debates about Iran, US, and World politics, philosophy, economy, history, sociology, art, science and related subjects. IPC is a club for "All the People," and not only for "some of the people". All nationalities, races, cultures, religions, ideologies; Persians, non Persians, Zoroastrians, Muslim, Bahaiis, Christians, Jews, Atheists, and all other philosophical, political, economical ideologies are welcomed.

5th Amendment.
Freedom of speech, the 1st US amendment is the model rule, you may express yourself as long as you do not step on any other person's rights and you may do it without being afraid to be expelled. In this club we will; talk, criticize, analyze, comment, joke, humor and question everyone's opinion, belief, and ideology, freely. Nothing here is sacred! We will do the above to: God, prophets, religions, holy saints, Islam, Shiite, Sunni, Christianity, Judaism, Bahaiism, the government of Iran, Islamists, Fundamentalists, Moderates, Reformists, Atheists, Darwin, Karl Marx, Lenin, Communists, Tudehists, Leftists, Socialists, Fedayin, Mojahedin, Jebheists, Constitutional Monarchists, The Shah, Imperial family, Republicans, Democrats, Liberals, Social Democrats, Fascists, Falangists, National Socialists and everyone else. We will express ourselves freely. Freedom of speech is highly enforced.

6th Amendment.
IPC is a private club, "We the People", we the members are the owners, we will govern this club, there will be no big brother. All members are equal, all have rights, all have freedom of speech, expression, and assembly.

7th Amendment.
IPC club is free to join.

8th Amendment.
Prohibited Content: You may not post, upload, link to, or email any Content that contains, promotes, gives instruction about, or provides prohibited Content. Prohibited Content includes: (a) Any Content that breaks any US local, county, state, national or international law; (b) Content that infringes upon any rights [ex. MP3s and ROMs] including, yet not limited to copyrights and trademarks; (c) Viruses, Worms or any other harmful computer software; (d) Spam, Hard-core pornography, Chain letters, or Pyramid schemes; (e) Illicit drugs (f) Criminal and Harmful Material (g) Terroristic Threats.

9th Amendment.
Do not make the club boring with "direct personal profanity" towards one another. Once one does it, then everyone will participate in it and the atmosphere will become one boring place, lets make it hot and exciting. Lets value and build this stand for freedom, lets try to build a better world.

10th Amendment.
Iran Politics Club Website is not responsible for the material published in IPC, written by the various authors. The responsible parties are the authors who write the material. As a free tribune, IPC respects and abides by the Press Shield Law, Freedom of Press, Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Assembly. The Freedom of Press (First Amendment of the US Constitution) guarantees for the press, the full authority to enforce the privilege of Freedom of Speech for “All” the people.


* * *
Last edited by IPC on Sat Dec 01, 2007 8:41 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Postby IPC » Sat Jul 16, 2005 12:55 pm

Dear Members:

The Registration Agreement Terms of Iran Politics Club has been revised. Here is the new:

Iran Politics Club - Registration Agreement Terms
http://iranpoliticsclub.net/club/profil ... gister&sid

Regards,
IPC Office
Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds (English)
Pendare Nik, Goftare Nik, Kerdare Nik (Modern Persian)
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta (Avestan Persian)
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Changes to The Constitution of IPC

Postby IPC » Mon Nov 28, 2005 3:36 pm

Changes to The Constitution of IPC

Camran, Operation Members, Club Members:

Please review the new:

Constitution of IPC
http://iranpoliticsclub.net/club/viewtopic.php?t=7

Then read this announcement and inform us of your inputs:

1. A new 3rd Amendment has been added to the constitution of IPC. Presently there are a total of 9 Amendments. The 3rd Amendment has been added because, a number of people are uninformed, unaware and ignorant that: "Persian is the Latin term for Iranian; therefore, Persian means Iranian." This misunderstanding can cause this group to assume we are Pro Persian (Persian Speaking Ethnic Group of Iran), Persian Racists, Ultra Nationalists or a Hate Group! A number of people read the 1st Amendment, without reading the whole site. These people release judgment about us, based on pure ignorance.To bring these uninformed groups out of their ignorance, we had to add the new 3rd amendment.

New 3rd Amendment:

3rd Amendment.
Iran Politics Club supports the achievement of equal rights for "All" Iranian (Persian) ethnic groups. Persian is the Latin term for Iranian; therefore, Persian means Iranian. IPC believes in all Iranian ethnic and racial groups including but not limited to: Persians, Azeris, Kurds, Turkmens, Baluchis, Arabs, Jews, Armenians, Assyrians, Blacks, Orientals, Indians and others, to have equal rights, equal votes, freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of press, freedom of assembly and all other natural human rights and freedoms.


2. The word "Criminal" has been added to part (f) "Criminal and Harmful Material", for further clarification of part (f).

Changes to the 8th Amendment:

8th Amendment.
Prohibited Content: You may not post, upload, link to, or email any Content that contains, promotes, gives instruction about, or provides prohibited Content. Prohibited Content includes (a) Any Content that breaks any US local, county, state, national or international law; (b) Content that infringes upon any rights [ex. MP3s and ROMs] including, yet not limited to copyrights and trademarks; (c) Viruses, Worms or any other harmful computer software; (d) Spam, chain letters, or Pyramid schemes; (e) Illicit drugs (f) Criminal and Harmful Material (g) Terroristic Threats.

Regards,
IPC Office
Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds (English)
Pendare Nik, Goftare Nik, Kerdare Nik (Modern Persian)
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta (Avestan Persian)
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Postby Ahreeman X » Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:14 pm

:chilling: Dear Malijak
Ahreeman Mirza Qajar Grants you the pleasure of a response!


Note:
Your original message due to Data Base Move and transfer is deleted but I replied to it; therefore, your original message is saved in form of quotes which I am replying to.


I believe in your own illiterate ways, you are trying hard to communicate with me; therefore, I shall reply to you.

Malijak Wrote:

Quote:
“Pardon Moa Mr. KOSHKAR NIK, “


Your lips are moving but what are you trying to say (Pink Floyd)?

Quote:
“Don’t U think that U need few live members who are willing to express themselves, before amending constitution on the hour?”


Don’t you think you exist in IPC on borrowed time? You are indeed dead (Court Ruling/Execution); therefore, you are not alive, meaning you are not a member, meaning you have no rights, meaning I am speaking to @ worst to a ghost & @ most to a Zombie?

For more information please refer to:

Trial of Bache Kuni
http://iranpoliticsclub.net/club/viewtopic.php?t=1077

Funeral of Bache Kuni
http://iranpoliticsclub.net/club/viewtopic.php?t=1096

You were tried, executed, buried and yet bold enough to find your way back to life as a Zombie. How can I take advice from a Zombie?

Quote:
“I personally think U should relax the constitutional rope to bring in people who are willing to bang it up for ideas,”


By daily average IPC rejects 10 applications registered and awaiting to be activated as members and then deletes them. In other words by average IPC kills 10 prospect new members a day. As a matter of fact, yesterday we killed 20 new prospect members! IPC Club is the only Iranian forum, which actively kills prospect members and kicks them out of IPC rather than allowing new members in to IPC! Why you asked?

Because these members are:

Spamers, Hackers, Haxors, Saboteurs, Retards, Intellectually Challenged or simply Weirdoes such as yourself!

(This shows how much traffic exists in IPC.)

How can we distinguish, you asked?

We can take one look at the registration application and figure whom are we dealing with!

IPC Club only allows in, the Selected Elite, The Cream of The Crop amongst the Persians and Non Persians.

Then how come you are in here, you asked?

Because us Qajars like to have our Malijaks around. For instance, my dear ancestor Naser-edin Shah Qajar :TF: , once disappointed and defeated by British in the Afghani Campaign (British surrounded and barricaded Bandar Abbas so Naser-edin Shah would withdraw from Herat.), stopped being The Man O War and started being a Man O Hal! Therefore, he always kept the many wives, court dancers, court jesters and indeed a Malijak (Boy Toy) @ the mighty Qajar Court!

Now as you can see, IPC is also Darbar-e Qajar. Even though you are mentally challenged and physically a SheBoy, yet we are keeping you here as a Malijak. You are our court jester and help us pass time!

Quote:
“since absence of that U are presiding on a constitutionally perfect graveyard of a forum.”


What’s wrong with Graveyard? Do you have something against Graveyard? I love Graveyards! Peace and Quiet, Oh Lord, nothing like a peaceful Graveyard @ night! I love it. Actually our future 3 IPC Models photo shoots will be in Graveyards!

Quote:
“On top of it your server is not even in US territories”


Your information is outdated, our new server is in US Territories. Don’t you ever tell me that I had never given you any information! You see it used to be outside but now it is inside. Everything changed, company, techs, server, etc. But I did not see the need to inform you Mali Jan!

Quote:
“and consequently may not conform to what the Big Brother dictates.”


IPC never had any Big Brother. But there is always Haji Kuchike and I am sure you had met him! No?

Quote:
“Last I heard the Mosami's who are maintaining your server are not even sympathetic toward Bosh's agenda.”


That is why we changed company, techs and server. I love patriotic Americans. I can’t stand them Socialist Canadian Bozos!

Quote:
“And, whom are U afraid of , Uncle Sam? Chile!!”


No, not @ all! I am simply afraid that,

Spamers, Hackers, Haxors, Saboteurs, Retards, Intellectually Challenged or simply Weirdoes such as yourself find their ways in to IPC!

Don’t you think one of yous is enough?

We can handle one Malijak but we don’t need more!

If we open doors and allow 10 Bozos in a day, then that will be
More than 300 Bozos a month!
Soon we will have 3000 and then 30,000 members, but what good would that do?

Listen to those beautiful wise words of Camran to myself:

“Why do you need to gather thousands of useless people in here? Do you need Siyahi Lashgar? For what purpose? It is better to have ten meaningful and intelligent members in IPC than to have thousands of Siyahi Lashgar in here!”


Always remember those beautiful wise words of Master Camran Mirza, always…………….

Quote:
“Savak days are over and Uncle Sam does not incorporate Pepsi-Cola treatment.”


Such shame! That is the reason in which your butt is itching so passionately for them SAVAK Bottles! Not to worry, the whole institution of your “Islamic Democracy @ Mosque” is based on “Kun Kunak”! Just call brother Ahmadinejad and he will provide Halaal Bottles for you!

Quote:
“As I remember, freedom of expression was guaranteed under the US Constitution”


Yes, but for Citizens of United States, not for Hezbo German Bache Kunis pretending to be Persian, with one foot in Germany and one foot in Jersey, playing with their stupid IP Spoofer, assuming they can fool Ahreeman!

Allow me to quote from Mighty Ahreeman:

{ “Many believe they have the upper hand on Ahreeman, but Ahreeman often proves them wrong, so they end up in a 'Surprised Motion':

Stand amazed in a field of prairie, with their right hand's thumb stuck in their rectum and their left hand's pinky bitten between their teeth, frozen in this position, wondering how the Hell Ahreeman knows All that?!" }


Quote:
“as Founding Fathers conceived,”


Whose Founding Fathers?
American Founding Fathers are Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Adams ……
Persian Founding Fathers are Cyrus, Darius, Xerxes …………..
Your Founding Fathers are Imam Khomeini, Hamadi Clown, Hojatol Dool, Ahmad Dasteh Khar, Rajab KIR Koloft ………

Whose Founding Fathers?

Quote:
“unless Bush’s Nazi Administration has lately amended the Constitution, covertly?”


So Bush is a Nazi but Ahmadinejad is the elected president of the Islamic Democracy?

Quote:
“U are running a Political Blog,”


No I am not!
I am running a Website
I am running a club
I am running a Movement
I am running The future of Iran
But
Where the hell did you see a Blog?
Take your right thumb finger out of your butt and your left pinky finger out of your mouth, stand straight, pull up your trousers and open your eyes! Will ya Mali Jan?

Quote:
“hence are a "Journalist". So why don't U grab your dangling Ahoramazdas”


My Danglers are Imam Hassan and Hussein! Get the names right, OK?

Quote:
“and go to Guantanamo and do some hot interviews and post here.”


Mali Jan, I am not a reporter; therefore, I do not interview! However as a Journalist I conduct dialogues, such as the dialogue with Dr. Parvin Darabi and the Dialogue with Mayaazaar. Check the Website and read if you can!

I do not conduct interviews with Jihadi Muslim Kunis (your brothers) in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba!

Quote:
“That is how U can stir some shit and bring in new members.”


How many times should I bang this info in to your head?
(presently I am banging this info into your head via Haji Kuchike!)
Can you feel me banging it in to your head?
:lolbang:
I do not need new members in IPC Club. When worthy souls want to, then they can enter IPC Club and then we distinguish them and allow them in to become members.

What do I care about, you asked?
This is what I care about:

Once again allow me to quote from Mighty Ahreeman:

{ Iran Politics Club is the largest Iranian website/network on Internet.
Iran Politics Club is the most viewed Iranian political website on the Internet.
Iran Politics Club is one of the top ten, most read Iranian general websites on the Internet.

Every website claims they are the most trafficked sites, but we offer you facts.

You are welcome to click on each of the four statistics buttons, on bottom left corner of the IPC homepage and view our statistics:

* Top left button (Sitemeter) shows sample statistics. Image album pages and club pages are not included. Our actual complete statistics are much larger.
* Bottom left button (Extremetracking) shows sample statistics. Image album pages and club pages are not included. Our actual complete statistics are much larger.
* Top right button (Webalizer) shows the complete website statistics.
* Bottom right button (AWstats) shows the complete website statistics. }


And why is it that people read IPC Website?
And why is it that IPC (amongst the exiled sites) has the largest number of Iranian Readers inside Iran (between 8% to 12%)?

Because of:

a) Ahreemanic Writings
b) Those selected few authors, only selected by Ahreeman to write for IPC Website

…….. and thus spake The Mighty Ahreeman ……….

And you have been using such Big Words! Didn I tell you avoid Big Words and didn I tell you that Big Words put too much pressure on your little delicate head, didn I?

Now, if you be good, Ahreeman allows you to continue playing the role of the Court Advisor in Darbar-e IPC. Now come here Kuchulu and sit on Popa Ahreeman’s lap……… Moosh Bokhoret!

Hey wait a second, what happened to you?
First you used to be a Gay Muslim Pirate,
Then you became a Blind Gay Muslim Pirate,
Next you grew a Dick as a nose and now,
You are a Blind Gay Muslim Pirate who looks like a Dick!
Hassani khoshgel bud, abeleh ham dar avord!

You know, Malijaks try to make themselves pleasant, cute and pretty!
Why do you become more deranged and more degenerated by the day?
What kind o SheBoy are you?
Don’t make me disqualify you as an Official Qajar Malijak and hand you to Lib and his electric chair!
I am warning you Susan!

Now go run along and play around ….. go Little One, go …….. :swing:

Khosheman Amad, Barekallah Malijak, Khosheman Amad….. (Naser-edin Shah style o talk)!
:scared: :devgrin:

Quote:
“Ali Yaret”


Guzam be rishet!


Sincerely,
:firedvl:
Your Lord Ahreeman Mirza Qajar
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Postby Edelge » Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:16 pm

First of all I am not very happy with the ambiance here Ahreman! U better worm it up or else! It looks that your handfool of mutants and retards, I mean member have crawled into the woodworks like cockroaches. And I want U to know that I still await for my cut of the partnership from your lucrative web revenues. My calculations show that just based on your Mosad kickbacks toward propaganda, I mean fluffing the Iranians carpet for a big forthcoming Israeli piss, I mean air attack, U owe me $5K.

AhreemanX wrote:........
By daily average IPC rejects 10 applications registered and awaiting to be activated as members and then deletes them..........


U mean the same applications which reference personal and intimate XXX gay acquaintances with IPC Generals, excluding General Edelgee?
Last edited by Edelge on Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:35 pm, edited 9 times in total.
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Postby Amir » Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:37 pm

Have you noticed that this Kooni does nothing but ruin threads? He turned the thread on the Constitution of IPC into his shenanigans again. Oh, well. Yet another thread be goh keshide shod. Since the thread got ruined anyway, I might as well have some fun.

The mutant’s avatar changed again, so I feel obligated to submit another top ten list. This creature certainly has self-image problems, doesn’t he? Why else would he keep changing his avatar? He is trying out new looks prior to his sex change operation to see if he will be happy with his new image. It’s part of the protocol for psychological testing prior to proceeding with the actual surgery.

Anyways, let’s get down to business.

Top Ten Reasons Why The Kooni Has A New Nose:

10. Liar, Liar, Nose On Fire: :---)

This Kooni has always been a big fat liar. Being a puppet (of whom I still don’t know), the same ground rules apply to him as do to Pinocchio. The lies finally caught up to him, and his ugly nose has gotten uglier with an unsightly growth. Keep lying Pinocchio, keep lying, and see what happens.

9. Free Haji: :discobanana:

A while back, in trying to set the kid straight, Ahreeman sent Haj Kuchike on a mission. The Haji was supposed to knock some sense into the Kooni by slapping him upside the head. However, Ahreeman missed, and blinded him instead. Ahreeman sent the Haji on a repeat mission to slap the Kooni upside the head again, but that damned Haji missed again. This time, it accidentally lodged itself inside the Kooni’s nose. The hit was so hard that Haji could not simply back out. Now poor Haji is stuck in the Kooni’s face. Haji, don’t worry. Help is on the way. We will free you. I swear it. Free Willy, Free Willy. I mean… Free Haji, Free Haji!

8. Yet Another Veterinary Mishap: :moo: :dog:

Okay, okay, you guys aren’t going to believe this, but it’s true. Remember how the vet mistook the Kooni’s face for his koon, and vice versa? Remember how that was the reason that Kooni lost an eye, instead of being neutered? Well the same thing happened again! After the last mishap, my pet kept complaining about being blind. I asked the mutt what could be done to make up for it, and he said: “I’m tired of my tiny mutilated doodool. I’ve been hearing about a procedure that may fix the self-abuse I’ve inflicted upon it. Please take me to have it fixed.” So I said fine, and took him to the vet again. As usual, the vet made the same mistake, and mistook his face for his koon, and his koon for his face. He then built a doodool out of his nose. At first I was mad at the vet again, but I laughed so hard that I couldn’t stay mad at the vet. Seriously though, this vet should have his license revoked.

7. Pirate Prosthesis: :fenc: :pirate:

During one of his swashbuckling adventures, the Kooni lost his nose in a swordfight. The usual prosthetic inventory was running low on his ship, so the ship physician could only fit him with what he had on hand. He convinced the Kooni that the doodool in-lieu of nose prosthesis was the latest craze in medical technology, and that all the cool pirates had them. The gullible Kooni fell for it, and accepted.

6. Mix Up With John Bobbit: :samur:

The same day that Johnny pissed off his wife and lost his dool, the Kooni was involved in a car accident, which severed his nose. They were both taken to the same hospital. Poor unfortunate Kooni was involved in a case of medical mix up. The doctors mistook the two patients, and attached the severed appendages on to the wrong patient. Now Johnny walks around with the Kooni’s nose in his pants, while Kooni calls Johhny’s dool his nose. Again, I believe that license revocation is in order.

5. Teenaged Mutant Ninja Kooni: :ninja: :turtle:

Being the lowly rat that he is, the Kooni’s favorite place of loitering is the sewer. Unfortunately for him, the particular sewer that he hung around was downstream from one of Iran’s covert Uranium enrichment sites. A hefty dose of radiation caused the Kooni to grow a doodool on his face. Now he is a retarded Kooni by day, but wears a mask and tries to fight evil by night.

4. Oh, No! That Was Crazy Glue: :help:

Being a boy toy Dool Jende, the Kooni was trying to make a buck again on the street corner. Unbeknownst to him, his client accidentally grabbed a container of Crazy Glue instead of lube. Before he knew it, the client’s dool was permanently fused to the Kooni’s face. The two are still attached, but Kooni used his computer editing to remove the rest of the client out of the picture. The dool could not be digitally removed, however, without erasing half of Kooni’s face with it. Besides, Kooni figured that everyone would just think he intentionally added the dool in order to just “be cute” again.

3. Kooni The Theater Actor: :comedyTrag: :scream: :french:

Kooni has always wanted to be taken seriously, and thought he might give theater a shot. He landed a part as Cyrano de Bergerac. Being the annoying little shit that he is, he managed to piss off the guys in the make-up department. In a ploy to get even with the Kooni, each day they apply make-up to him that not only makes his nose look big like Cyrano’s, but also shaped like a dool. Looks like the make-up artists got the last laugh. Remember, Kooni, never piss off the following people:
1. People that make or serve your food.
2. People that operate on you.
3. People that do your wardrobe or make-up, if you happen to be an actor.
4. People that legally own your ugly little koon, ie me.

2. Cartoon Cause And Effect: :raton: :banghead:

Remember the old classic cartoons (like Tom and Jerry) where a character gets a bump on the head? He tries to push it back in, only to have it come out at another site. Well, the same thing happened to our Kooni. Again, his obsession with his desire to be a female resulted in this. He found out before that he could not cut his hated dool off, because he is too squeamish (like a little girl), and he passes out at the sight of blood. So, in a moment of genius, he decided that he would pound his hated dool back into his body. He picked up a huge mallet, and with one mighty swing he successfully forced that damned thing back in. The delight of his success was unfortunately short lived, as he noticed that the cursed appendage only popped out somewhere else on his body. Can you guess where?

Finally, the number one reason why the Kooni has a new nose is…

1. He Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog, Crying All The Time: :shackled: :convict: :dog:

I adopted the Kooni as a pet thinking that I could put him to work. I knew I could never promote him as a show dog. Hell, he’s too ugly for that. I tried using him as a guard dog, but he’s too dumb. I tried using him as a sled dog, but he’s too weak. I tried using him as a sheep dog, but he just kept letting the wolves hump him. I tried using him as a seeing eye-dog, but he went and got himself blinded as well – now that’s irony for you. I tried to use him as a hunting dog, but his nose couldn’t smell any prey.

So I decided to use his strength instead of his weakness. I thought to myself, what is the kooni really good at? The answer was obviously “koon dadan.” So how could I put that to good use? Use a kooni to find a kooni! However, in order to do that, he needed a slight modification. In order to better sniff out the other koonis, I fitted his nose with a dool. A dool is the best sniffing tool for a koon. So now, he is optimally modified to act as a hound dog, specializing in tracking fugitive koonis. I lease him out to the authorities whenever a kooni breaks out of jail. Since all prisoners turn kooni sooner or later, almost all escaped convicts are koonis, and therefore excellent prey for my koon-dog. Go get ‘em boy!
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage

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Postby Amir » Sat Mar 10, 2007 11:41 am

Bad Dog, Patches….Bad Dog!


Ha Ha. You crack me up, Patches.

BTW your new name is Patches, in addition to the other dozen names you’ve been given by us. Let me explain why I will on occasion refer to you as Patches:

1. You’re a lowly mutt. A mutt deserves a doggy name. Patches is a popular doggy name. For example, I can say: “Good boy, Patches. Go fetch!” Or: “Bad dog, Patches, don’t speak, and for crying out loud, put that koon away.”

2. Since you lost an eye, you are now wearing an eye patch. Patches gives a good description of your semi-handicapped predicament. Pirates usually have nicknames that fit their physical characteristics. You shall be known as the Kooni Pirate Patches.

3. You have no sense of self, and keep switching political sides with the wind. As such, you don’t go by one color, or one flag. You go by many. Your distinguishing colors are a mix and match of other various groups’. Your skin looks like patches of others, and your flag looks a mosaic patch of others’ flags. Hence, you are Patches.

4. Every time you find a new boyfriend, you let him test-drive your koon on the first date. Then, you come home to your master the next day with a bleeding behind, squeal, and ask for help. I can’t remember how many times I’ve had to stitch your shredded koon. Since I’ve had to patch you back up so many times, I think the name Patches is appropriate.

5. You are like a software program with a lot of bugs and errors. To fix you up, we have had to download repair patches from Microsoft. Now, you have required so many patches that the total amount of patch software is greater than the original flawed software that you came in, and we still haven’t fixed the problem. I think the name Patches describes the viral program that is you.

Any questions about your new name, Patches?

Okay, now let me tell you why your sorry pooch ass cracks me up. When I first saw the above nonsense post of yours, the words “excluding General Edelgee” were conspicuously absent. As that statement stood, the implication of gay acquaintances with a certain IPC General could and should be interpreted as only directed at you, considering your new promotion to 5-Star General. Such a remark only pointed at your own retarded ass. That was funny by itself, but let me tell you what was even funnier.

The funniest part is that you came to that realization hours after posting the original message. I can just picture you, relaxing in a little rat hole, belching and picking ticks and fleas out of your infested koon, when suddenly….BAM! The two neurons that currently call your empty skull a home began firing after years of hibernation. In that eureka moment, you thought to yourself… “Oh shit! I am that gay IPC General! Crap! I just torpedoed my own ass! I had better run and fix it, before anyone notices!”

Ha Ha. Too late, patches. I already noticed it. Your master has a photographic memory, and if you start changing things around I will notice and buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn you with it. Now buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn, little doggy, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn.

Hey, that gives me two more reasons why your name is Patches:

6. Being a half-wit, you notice your own stupidity (if ever) only hours after the fact. In a retarded effort to conceal your self-destructive, moronic statements, you run back and try to patch up the problem. Your idiotic editing gives you the name Patches.

7. Since you have a sadistic master as an owner, he frequently uses your idiocy to burn you repeatedly. You’ve been burned so much that you look like Freddy Kreuger. As a burn victim, your skin has peeled off all over your body, necessitating numerous skin grafts. All the skin grafts give you a patchy appearance, hence the name Patches.


Those, little puppy, are the reasons for calling you Patches from time to time.

Now, you may be wondering why I have given you the honor of writing not one but two long posts dedicated to you within two days, especially after leaving you alone for so long. The reason is precisely because I had left you alone for so long. I don’t want you to feel neglected. After all, as your owner I do have some responsibilities. That should hold you over for a bit longer, and allow me to concentrate on serious matters before playing with you again.

Until then, take care Patches.

Signed

The Legal Owner Of The Most Pitiful Dog On Earth…Patches
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage

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Postby Amir » Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:16 pm

Now, now, Patches. It doesn’t become you to mess with poetry. Leave that to the professionals.

Seriously, though, do you think I’m the only one laughing at you? You are the only one NOT laughing at you, and that’s because you’re too damned stupid to realize what’s funny.

BTW, I see you’re moving up in this world. You passed 5-Star, and now became 6-Star General. Wow, you are most impressive. Please don’t go to 7-Star, because I just don’t think we can handle it. Dumb-ass, don’t you know there is no such rank as a 6-Star General? Are you just trying to be “cute” again? If you’re gonna go big, at least go really big. Promote yourself to a Ca-Jillion-Zillion-Quidrillion-Star General. At least that might be funny. That reminds me, you now have one more reason why I call you Patches:

8. The mutt likes to forge / fake / fabricate a rank and honor patch for himself, so that he can either appear cool to others, or appear funny, or both. In both cases, his fake patch is laughable and he comes up short.

Silly doggy, you have to earn your patches around here… except the ones I give you. In your case, however, we might make an exception, since you wag your tail so much and are the site’s pet. Now that makes me want to give you yet another name: Nokhodi.

The little kids that want to play along but don’t have the skill for a game (usually because they are too young, but in your case because you are too stupid), are allowed to stay in the game without the usual rules applying to them. That describes your existence in this club. You are a Nokhodi. Nothing you say matters, and the usual rules get overlooked because you are so helpless. Now walk around and pretend you’re somebody, and make fake ranks for yourself.

BTW, let’s talk about my rank while we are on the subject. Do you know why I am a “Specialist?” Because I specialize in koon-jer-va-jer-kardan. I suspect you’ve had first hand experience with my “specialty” in action, no?

You are our Nokhodi, and we do love having you around. Now go fetch, little Nokhodi.
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage

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Postby Ahreeman X » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:40 am

:teacher: Excuse me for jumping in between you training your pet, but I have Grammar to correct!

:chilling: Dear Malijak:

Allow me to enlighten you………. :idea1:

There are those who cannot read or write Tazified Persian, simply because they were born in exile. I don’t put them down because once we free Iran, I am planning to change the Persian Alphabet to Latin:

Why Change Persian Alphabet from Tazi to Latin?
http://iranpoliticsclub.net/culture-lan ... -alphabet/

There are those who do read and write Tazified Persian. Well more power to them because it is always good to read and write in different forms and languages.

Then there are little Dulches such as you who assume they can read and write Persian in both Latin and Tazi alphabet! Specifically since the beginning of your existence in this club, you have been over and over posting Tazi Persian fonts. This is all fine and dandy except there is one problem! What you asked?

You can’t write Tazi Persian worth Shiite! Hypothetically if you were a student in Tehran. You would have been failed miserably in Persian Literature, Reading, Writing, Language, Dictation, Essays, and other courses! They would kick you out of High School and College in one shot!

I don’t know why are you insisting to write Persian in Tazi? Why don’t you learn the grammar rules, then do such Gondeh Guzi?

:spanked: How many times do I have to correct you? Here we go one more time:

About the little poem (Expression) you recreated,

“Chos” such as you wrote “Choskhor” is not written with “Se Se Noqte” but it is written with “Sin”.

You see, this is exactly my point on why we should change the Persian font! It is very hard for little Shiite Kickers such as you to learn 3 forms of each letter such as:
:scream:

3 forms of “S” in Tazi Persian:

Sin
Se Se Noqte
Sat

Or

4 forms of “Z” in Tazi Persian:

Ze
Zat
Zal
Zayn

You can barely handle one “S” and one “Z” in English, then how can you do 3 or 4 forms of a letter in Tazified Persian?

Writing Persian in Tazi without spell/grammar mistakes is hard for a normal student, set aside for a retarded under achiever SheBoy like you!

So the bottom line is,

Everytime you post some Tazified Persian, it comes out wrong. It is full of grammar problems. The reason no one corrects them anymore is because they given up on you!

Remember how everyone used to correct your errors? Now no one does? Do you know why? Because they gave up!

You are too “Tupid” to learn Tazified Persian Writing!
And
You are too “Tupid” to not post flawed Tazified Persian posts!
So what do you do?
You keep on posting Tazified Persian Writings to say:
Hey everybody, I know how to read and write Persian alphabet in Tazi!

But the truth is:

You Don’t know how to read and write Persian worth Shiite!
You can’t even write Persian in Latin without errors, set aside Persian in Tazi!

You are simply way too “Tupid”! :hezboz:

You are illiterate, and hopeless.
:chilling: :grenadelauncher:
Supposedly you speak English, Persian and German but as soon as you open your mouth, you Frag Up all 3 languages!

Why don’t you just give it up?
You can’t spell Persian in Tazi alphabet worth shiite!
Just give it up and continue with being Darbar-e IPC’s Malijak!

:chilling: Dayus-e Kos Kalak Baz:

:wedgie: Khak bar sar-e Bi Savadet konan, to hanuz nemituni Farsi ro talafoz ya tahrir koni, unvaqt miyay dar hozur-e hamegan mikhay Farsi benevisi va be Farsi she’r begi? :ovweight: To umadi She’r begi, vali ridi! Akhe to ro che be Farsi neveshtan?

To hanuz farq-e “Se Se Noqte” va “Sin” va “Sat” va Tokhm-e Hazrat-e Abbas ro nemiduni! To ro che be Farsi neveshtan Dayus?

:throwingrock: Kodom Jakeshi be to Farsi yad dad? Begu ki hast, beram dahanesho servis konam? Un jakeshi ke be to Farsi yad dad ro bayast bast be Khar, un ham Khar-e Qebresi!

:wow: To bayast Farsi ro be khat-e Mikhi benevisi ke ye mikh tu sar-e khodet bezani va yek mikh tu kunet bokoni shayad zehnet roshan beshe!

Beche Adam besho, to key mikhay adam beshi?
:moo:
You are the Calf whom never grew up to become a Cow!
You are an old Calf who still is not a full Cow!
When will you evolve? :question:

BTW
Khak bar saret ke in topic ro ham be goh keshidi! :whip:

Moosh bokhoret …….. :raton:


:devpimp: Dear Arsalan II:

I am going to Sue you because once again your pet :dog: Shiited all over another fine topic but this time The Constitution of IPC. What do you teach this dog? :devpimp: :dog:

What do you do with him all day long? Will HeShe ever evolve? Do you call yourself a Trainer? God Damn Semnani people!
:shooting: :devpimp:

‘Nokhodi”


Murder, Killer, Riot, killeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! :hystery:

“I specialize in koon-jer-va-jer-kardan. I suspect you’ve had first hand experience with my “specialty” in action, no? “


Murder, Killer, Riot, killeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! :yeees:

Khoda khafat nakone ke khodam biyam Vegas hozuri khafat konam!
:devpimp: :devil:

Sign,

Someone way too fed up with stupidity of Iranian Wanna Bees!
:sadeh:
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Postby Edelge » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:20 pm

chelo
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Postby Amir » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:26 pm

A thousand apologies, Master Ahreeman, for my failure to control this mutant pet of mine. It is not for lack of desire. It’s just that in my endeavors to punish Patches, I am sometimes sidetracked by serious and important articles. If only I could abandon my desire to present and carry interesting and thought-provoking articles and discussions. I know, I know, my priorities are just not in correct order. Clearly, playing with Nokhodi is more important.

I was putting the finishing touches on an article that will bust a certain Greek’s chops, when I remembered my little Patches. I recalled his newfound fondness of poetry. So I decided to combine these two circumstances, and oblige my pet with a dedication of a short poem in Greek. Don’t worry, for those that don’t speak Greek, the English translation will follow.

Here it is, Patches:

Pes mou tora yiati
Eisai etsi ena khazo?
Poion eitan kai khtipise sou kefali
Kai skotiniazate sou miallo?


That one is funny as hell. Trust me. However, let me give the English translation, so that we can all laugh together:

Tell me, now, why
You’re so retarded and behind?
Who was it that bashed your head
And darkened so your mind?


I thought that might be good enough, but just in case Patches only has an affinity for Persian poetry, I will oblige with a different one in Persian:

Gofti ke chera intor
Rooz be rooz kardam to koonet?
Goftam ke khafe khoon begir, bache
Manam arbab o choopoonet!



Patches, this is what I call a triple buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn. That’s right, Patches, I want to watch you buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn. You just got buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurned simultaneously in three different languages.

:nuke:

This is your master, doing a little dance on your half charred body:

:swingman: :restpeace:
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage

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Postby Edelge » Wed Mar 14, 2007 9:01 pm

Amir wrote:A thousand apologies, Master Ahreeman, for my failure.......................


I say U judge the size of the man by the degree of compliance of his nigers! Does such devotion and blind obedient to please the master remind U of someone we know?
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Postby Amir » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:06 pm

The statements a man makes, his actions, as well as the friends he keeps, define the measure of a man. Knowing that, what is the measure of a little weasel like you?

There are very few in this world that I consider worthy of calling friends, or of sufficient intellect to hold in esteem. Ahreeman is among those very few.

What is this complex you have towards the guy? What is this envy that burns in you so strongly (get it, burns?) that you can’t stand to see him praised? That’s probably another reason why you went blind in one eye. Hasood, koor shodi?

Besides, why would he not be considered a master? He is a master of many subjects. He has achieved nirvana in history, science, politics, sociology, philosophy, as well as other areas. If anyone deserves to be called a master, it is he.

I, being simply a humble son of Iran, claim no mastery. There is only one exception to this claim. There is but a small and insignificant entity in this world over which I claim mastery. Do you know what that little thing happens to be? I am a master of…you, little doggy.

There, your arbab just threw you another bone, Patches. Now go fetch for me again. You amuse me.
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage

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Postby Edelge » Thu Mar 15, 2007 12:26 pm

polo
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Postby Amir » Thu Mar 15, 2007 4:47 pm

Koon Bache,

Stop embarrassing me in front of the club. They’re going to blame me for your koon bazi. “Control your pet,” they’ll say. “Teach him to behave normally,” they’ll say. “Your pet is running wild again and ruining the place,” they’ll say.

Of course, they’ll be right, and I won’t be able to defend your pitiful existence.

I was thinking, what do people that own rowdy and disobedient dogs do? So I remembered this guy:

Image

That’s right. I’m hiring Caesar Millan to come to IPC for a little one-on-one with Patches the rowdy mutt.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Caesar will take care of business. At least, that’s what I’m hoping. You realize that Caesar is a doggie’s last chance before he gets shot, don’t you? It has been done before, and it can be done again. In fact, I’ll bet everyone at the club hopes that Caesar will fail, just so they can enjoy watching you get killed again.

I have to pay for the whisperer out of my own pocket. Damn it, you mutt, you should be making money for me, not costing me money. Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to put your koon to more work after your sessions with Caesar to offset my losses.
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage

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