Nurollah X: Namaz Jum'a with Hojatol Eslam!

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Nurollah X: Namaz Jum'a with Hojatol Eslam!

Postby Ahreeman X » Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:53 pm

Namaz Jum'a with Hojat (Nurollah X)!

Today's Episode:

Islamic Religious Problem Number 69.....!

Masael-e Shar'i
From Book of Touzih ol Masael-e,
:hojat: Hojatol Eslam Nurollah X

Hojatol Eslam Nurollah X

:scream: Nurollah is now entering The Mosque :announcement:

:scream: Takbir:

:donkey: Allah o masalo ala Mohamad va aleh Mohamad............

:hojat: Ya Allah,

:donkey: Nurollah in The House

:donkey: Praise Nurollah!
:namaz: :namaz2: :namaz: :namaz: :cow: :namaz2: :hojat:

:donkey: Salavat-e boland khatm konid:

Allah o masalo ala Mohamad va aleh Mohamad............
:cow: :arabtox: :tolab: :ghods: :hezboz: :hizboansar:
:basij: Ya Ali,.....Ali Ali, Ya Ali, Moula Ali, Ali Ali ...............

:moo: Moooooooooo, Moooooooooo, Mooslem, Moo ......

:hojat: OK enough

:hojat: Oy, Oy, Ohoy, Oy Brother Gusaleh, enough, hold your enthusiasm, calm down Aziz-e Brother!
Allow me to preach, can you?

:moo: Moo!

:hojat: Down Brother Gusaleh, down........eeeshaaaaa, Hoshhhhhhhhha ..........

:hojat: Aziz-e Brother, let Nurollah preach!

:hojat: First we bend over up & down and pray to Allah

:hojat: And while bending over, no fingering please :fingering:

:namaz2: :namaz: :namaz: :cow: :namaz: :namaz2: :hojat:

:hojat: Let me go up the Manbar & behind the tribune,

OK here we go,

Ya Allah

Bisme Nasrin, Zhila and Shirin,
Bisme Beche Susul, down the street,
Also Bisme Ladan, Shila and Sister of Zeynab, Sakineh of Din!

eheeem, ehem, cleaning up my throat............

alrighty then,

Dear Brothers and Sisters,
Ya Umma' al Islam
Hear yee, hear yee,

While ago I was occupied playing with Haji Kuchike, :discobanana: :hojat:
We were having a Namaz al Jama'a together,
When suddenly my Homeostasis got broken and......

Brother Haj Liberator-e Suedi :vik: PMed me & said:

Check out:

Hazrat-e Ali's Thigh Banging! He was referring to:

Roots of Ashura Mourning & Self Mutilation in Islam ... 0724e90951

:vik: You better add it to your list of Ashura Mourning. He was referring to:

Shiite Islam, a history in pictures! ... 0724e90951

:hojat: Weeeeell (as Ronald Reagan used to say), dear brother Liberator, even though you are pretty amazed about this new one:

Hazrat-e Ali's Thigh Banging! :muslimarab:

And you were already pretty shaken up about these fine Ashura Islamic Arts of:

Chain Banging :whiper:

Head Banging :banghead:

Dagger Banging :basij:

Child Cutting :newbee: :basij:

Breast Banging :lachak:

Scream Mourning :tantrum: :boilingmad:

Cry Mourning :tear:

Faint Collapsing :sick:

Theatric Mourning Plays :basij: :hizboarab:

Mosque Group Eating :eat: :food:

and other fine Islamic Arts ...... :CS:

but now I have to really shock you! :shocking:

If you find Ali's (Great Shiite Saint & Islam's 4th Caliphate of Rashedin) Thigh Banging, Hip Banging and Butt Banging amazing, then wait till I tell you all about:

Muhammed's Penis Banging! :hammerhead: :arabj:
Prophet's Schlong Banging (PBUHB) :hammerhead:

Rasoul Allah, (PBUHB) peace be upon his bone, was a great Shambool Banger!

Monkey Slapper :monkey: :arabj:

Chicken Choker :egg: :arabj:

Meat Spanker :whip:

What do I mean by "Penis Banging" you ask?! :oops:

I mean, Muhammed had 21 wives and unlimited number of concubines captured in wars and forcefully raped! However, that sweet pacifist prophet was an Extremely Horny Toad! Prophet (Peace Be Upon His Bone) was so horny that even forced Zeyd (his adopted son) to divorce Zeynab, so he could marry her & legally bang her!
:lachak: :zeynab: :chadori: :arabj:

It all started when one day Muhammed was passing by Zeynab's quarters & he saw her naked & fell in Lust with her! Then he ended up marring her & have sex with her. Kind o like Islamic Legal & Religiously Recommended Shar'i Incest!
:scared: :Eyebrow:
Add that to the grand list of many sexually devious acts such as Raping Safiyah (Jewish Princess) & Raping Ayesheh (6 years old child bride) & etc............... and then it will be easy for you to understand that from time to time Muhammed was in need of a Hammer to Bang on his Bone to keep it down and in deep coma sleep!
:cheerpom: :arabj:

That Holy Schlong was often fully erect, the horniest prophet ever! Therefore, Holy Prophet had to constantly hit his shambool very hard to keep it soft & limp! However, slapping & hitting the schlong is for normal people or teenagers in puberty with over erected schlongs, yet prophet (PBUHB) was no normal human! He was a prophet of Allah on Earth, with an over erecting monstrous divine schlong, always fully wooded! Sword of Islam indeed!
That Holy prophet been banging Arab & Non Arab Broads ages 6 to 56 years old from young ages until he died! He was practically banging away all his life! Therefore, Muhammed could not bang on his Moameleh with bare hands or slap it silly! That Holy Schlong was so erect, that he was in need of a Hammer to bang it down! It was an amazing Holy Woody of the Islamic kind!
:scared: :arabj:

Muhammed died @ 63 and he been banging away them Taboulis for 63 years! Some say, he started banging as soon as he got out of mother's womb! The Woody Prophet indeed!
:discobanana: :arabj:

Banging on Schlong with the hammer indeed! :hammerhead:

So @ first, Prophet (PBUHB) was

Slap Banging his Schlong :whip:

but later on when the problem over extended, :lolbang:

he started

Hammer Banging his Schlong :hammerhead:

Allah bless his bone, the prophet was a very horny man with a wooded rock hard schlong, often standing up & sticking out of his Aba & Labadeh, long Arabic wardrobe!

So dear Liberator, :vik:

May you never be in need of a Hammer! :banghead:

If you are pretty impressed by Ali's Thigh and Hip banging, wait till you get a load of:

Prophet's penis slap banging and hammer banging! :devgrin:

La Ellaha Ela Allah!
Astakhfor Allah!

Bar Sheytan-e Maloun la'nat! :diablo:

Bar Sonbol-e Muhammed va Ale Muhammed salavat! :arabj:

May his Holy Jack Hammer rests in peace (Peace Be Upon His Bone)!

:hojat: Brothers & Sisters, may Allah bless you all and peace be upon yous!


:donkey: Nurollah is now leaving the Mosque

Salavate boland khatm konid:

Allah o masalo ala Mohamad va aleh Mohamad............
:cow: :moo: :basij: :hizboansar: :cow: :tolab:

Hojatol Eslam Nurollah X
Last edited by Ahreeman X on Thu Jun 02, 2005 6:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Liberator » Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:37 am

Excellent sermon brother X

By recently converted viking - :vik: ---- :pasdar: :hizboansar: who's seen the light of islam :shades:

:namaz2: :arabj:

Wa Salam Aleikom

Ya Allah!
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable" -J.F.K
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