by Amir » Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:32 pm
Max-ollah:
You know, Ahreeman essentially put a bounty on your head a couple of weeks ago. You remember, when he moved your Bahai non-sense from one room to the next? He invited me to knock some sense into you: aka he put a bounty on your head.
I may be a bounty hunter by trade, but I don’t take just any case. It has to have some personal gratification for me. But since you have no personality, I had nothing to motivate me. Nothing to get me jazzed up. Nothing to excite me. Nothing to set right. Nothing. So, I passed on the offer.
But enough with the Bahai crap already!
Toro be reeshe Baha-ollah, baba vele-moon kon.
Servis kardee hamaro. Bekesh beeroon.
The fact that you keep posting links to Bahai crap without mercy is starting to become annoying enough that screwing with you might give me some personal gratification.
But then, I have a problem. The fact that you have no personality means you have said nothing in here, which means that I have nothing to use against you. You are like an annoying statue that someone just placed in the middle of the room. It says nothing. It does nothing. It just sits there, annoying the people trying to walk through the room by getting in the way. Plus, it’s not a pretty statue, so no benefit is gained by its existence. Also, the statue is not conscious, so nothing is gained by insulting it, yelling at it, or mocking it. It is an object.
Since I can’t directly engage you, Max-ollah, I’ll share with you an anecdote about your sculptor, the Bahai faith.
I live in Las Vegas, and every time I drive there from LA I can’t help but notice a sign on the side of I-15 as I head into Vegas: “Adopt a Highway: This Road Adopted by the Bahai Faith.” I laugh my ass off.
Tell me, Max-ollah, are Bahais now adopting roads? What happened to people? Why don’t the Bahais adopt kids? Did they try to adopt kids, but the adoption agencies denied them because they were Bahais? Or did they go straight to adopting roads, kind of like the folks that actually bought stones called “pet rocks?” Have the Bahais been swindled?
And another thing. The last road that a religion boasting of its own moral advancement (as if there were any that didn’t) should adopt is I-15 heading right into Sin City. Now that’s classy.
The sign basically says:
“Your weekend of gambling, drunkenness, drug bingeing, hookers and strippers, acting like an ass, puking, waking up somewhere you don’t recognize next to someone you don’t know….is brought to you courtesy of the Bahai faith…enjoy your stay.”
That’s why I laugh my ass off.
Tell me, do the boys in Haifa know which road they adopted? They just heard “I-15,” and figured it sounded good? Cal Trans swindled the Bahais, I tell you. They are definitely laughing their asses off even more than me.
This is how it went down: (Tony and Joe are two dudes that work for Cal Trans)
Tony: Ey, Joe, there’s a schmuck here saying he wants to adopt a highway.
Joe: What? Is he nuts?
Tony: Well, he looks pretty weird, but he does have a bag full of money.
Joe: Okay, okay, we can’t say no to money. Did you ask him why he wants to adopt a highway?
Tony: He said that no one would give them any kids. So, they want to adopt a road, show it their love, and teach it their religion whether it wants to or not. Go figure.
Joe: And what’s his religion?
Tony: He said it’s “the Hawaii faith.” I thought that was a state, wasn’t it?
Joe: You mean “Bahai faith?” I’ve heard of it before. I had this neighbor named Max-ollah once. He kept handing me pamphlets about his religion. Sometimes I found them under my mat, sometimes in my mailbox, sometimes on the windshield of my car, sometimes in the elevator, sometimes in my coat pocket. I was so sick of it. I think he was stalking me.
Tony: So…do we give him a road or not?
Joe: Fine with me. We got thousands of miles to give away. But you know what? That Max-ollah guy ticked me off so much that now I want to get even. Just to mess with him, let’s give him the stretch that leads right into Vegas. I heard that these Bahai guys really hate alcohol and other vices. Oh, and tell him that all sales are final. Ha Ha Ha!
I am Dariush the Great King, King of Kings, King of countries containing all kinds of men, King in this great earth far and wide, son of Hystaspes, an Achaemenian, a Persian, son of a Persian, an Aryan, having Aryan lineage
Naqshe Rostam