Nurollah X: Muslim Lizards!

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Nurollah X: Muslim Lizards!

Postby Ahreeman X » Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:05 pm

Muslim Lizards!
Namaz Jum'a with Nurrolah
Famous Ahreemanic One Liners
January 17, 2005 = 2564 Shahanshahi PIY (Persian Imperial Year)

Shar'i Remarks by his Holiness,

Hojatol Eslam Nurrolah X

:hojat: (Announcer):
Nurollah is now entering the House (like Elvis concerts)!!!

Ya Allah
Nurollah in the House!

Aziz-e Brothers:

Let us start the cermon .........

:moo: Mooooooooooooo Moo Mooslem Muslim!

Oy Oy Ahay Brother Gusaleh, hold your enthusiasm!

Calm down Brother,

:hojat: : Takbir .......

:wave: : Allaho Masala alaa Mohamad va Ale Mohamad....!

La Elaha Ela Allah!

Ajaba, Heyrata, ..........Ok Brothers and Sisters,

Settle down

Let us strat the cermon,

Ya Allah

Through the years, when we talked about historically accurate "Lizard Eating Arabs", they said, we are racists, create stories to mock Arabs & we exaggerate & bash Arabs!

The fact is that eating lizards is a historical tradition with Arabian Peninsula's population. In the old days, in the heat of deserts, they had nothing to eat, so they ate lizards. Why do you think they invaded Persian Empire? To get a decent Persian Meal for Allah's sake!

Yum Yum, Wanna Some?!

But today, lizards have become a gourmet dish for them! Old habits die hard! So today, they prepare a special meal with lizards.

However, in poor parts of the peninsula & other areas, they still eat lizards out of necessity!

They eat their meat & use their skin for handicraft material!

Thanks to Liberator, now we have proof!

Tazihaye Soosmar Khor ... .php?t=197

But then again this issue brings Religious Shar'i questions to mind!
Questions come to mind??????
And this is where,

Hojatol Eslam Nurrollah X and his Resaleh comes to rescue!

Shar'i Questions

Umma' often asks me many questions .................

Umma':Why can't Arabs & Lizards live in a peaceful Union, & if so, then what would this union be called?
X: It is possible. This Neo Lizardo_Arab Union would be named "Liz-Arbs" Union?!

Umma': What would the population of this Neo Union be called?
X: Lizarbians!

Umma': What do you call the religion of a Muslim Lizard?
X: Lizlam!

Umma': Who follows Lizlam?
X: Lizlem!

Umma': Would these Lizards be from the sect of Sunnat or Shiite?
X: They are from the sect of Lizatte! (pronunce like "Lezat", yet with Qaliz Turkish Accent! Kind of erotic, no?)!

Umma':What do you call The Lizard Clerics?
X: Lizatol Eslam, and they will be having Seyed Green scales & wear little green turbans (picture that)!

Umma': Is there also such thing as the Iranian Lizards?
X: Yes there is. They are called " Persian Cameleon Lizards". They turn to Seyed Green skin during day time and to Hot Salsa Red skin during night time in Discotheques!

Umma': Will there be any Royal Holy Female Lizards?
X: Yes, and she will be called, Queen Liz-Abed!

Umma': Would there be any Supreme Spiritual Leader amongst the Lizards?
X: No, Imam Khamenei is already a Grand Lizard himself!

Umma': Would Muslim Lizards also take Vozu (special way of washing hands & feet with water before Islamic prayer)?
X: Yes they do and it called "Lizu"!

Ummma': What kind of Lizard, sucks all the Khoms o Zakat o Tooman out of you?
X: A Turbaned Lizaloo!

Umma': How do you define the taste of the Lizard Chelo Khoresh?
X: A crossover between The Camel Milk and Hyena Tah Chin!

Umma': What 2 choices did Arabs gave to the Lizard Population of Peninsula?
X: Quran or Frying Pan!

Umma': How do you spot a Well Moraled Lizard?
X: The ones whom instead of stretching upward towards the desert sun, they bend over between 3 to 5 times a day (depending on Shiite or Sunni), with their butts sticking out the hole & their heads in the hole!

Umma': What do you call a Lizard from Ferqe-ye Zaleh Bahaii?
X: Liz-Zaleh!

Umma': Do Lizards also sing Azaan from Minarats of the Mosques?
X: Yes they do, but they call it "Lazaan"!

Umma': Do Lizards also throw Rouzeh (Mourning Gathering)?
X: Yes they do, but they call it "Louzeh"!

Umma': Will good Arabo_Muslim ever stop slaughtering good Lizards for their consumptions?
X: Not until they move to Camel Gourmet!

Umma': Are Reptiles Halaal to eat in Islam?
X: These ones are Halaal because they been converted to Islam!

Umma': They often compare Arabian Peninsula with the Legendary Land of Oz. Then what would Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) be titled?
X: Lizard of Oz!

Umma': What would an infidel Lizard be called?
X: Lizindiq!

Umma': What would you call a Zionist Lizard?
X: Lizraeli!

Lizards Rights

By the way,

Arabs slaughtering & eating lizards!
Where are Animal Rights Groups, when you need them?
Poor Lizards!

Ethical Lesson

Never travel to Arabian Peninsula in Hot Summer Days, specifically, if you are an lizard! Even if you are a human (Killer)!

Pardon me, was that a politically incorrect derogatory remark?! Dear me! It must have slipped by moi! Shame on me!

:hojat: : Salavat befrestid!

:wave: : Allaho Masala alaa Mohamad va Ale Mohamad....!

:hojat: (Announcer):
Nurollah is now exiting the House (like Elvis Concerts)!!!

Fel Khatema!


Hojatol Eslam Nurollah X

* * *

Hojatol Eslam Soosmar-eDin Aftab Parast-e Shirazi
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